09
Nov
09

Cars vs People

carpeople(Preggers Patricia, a preggo, and Feminazi Fran, an embittered harpy, are having tea in a restaurant. The topic switches to health care reform.)

FEMINAZI FRAN: Women sure are treated like crud by insurance companies! Their rates are higher than men’s are, which is B.S. anyway but is even more B.S. when you consider that women still earn 70 cents per dollar a man makes. And the pre-existing conditions! Did you know that some companies consider domestic violence “pre-existing?”

PREGGERS PATRICIA: Well, it’s just business sense. If you have a car that they know beforehand is a complete lemon, why would they cover it? They’ll lose money.

(FEMINAZI FRAN: pauses)

FEMINAZI FRAN:: Do you think that’ll hurt?

PREGGERS PATRICIA: What’ll hurt?

FEMINAZI FRAN:: (points to Patricia’s belly) Giving birth to a car. Won’t that hurt?

(Patricia scoffs)

PREGGERS PATRICIA: How is my baby a car?

FEMINAZI FRAN: Well, you just said they’re equivalent in the eyes of our insurance overlords.

PREGGERS PATRICIA: Oh, you’re being silly. Baby Lance/ Baby Loretta is not a car.

FEMINAZI FRAN: Oh, s/he’s not a car yet. Right now s/he’s not only a person, s/he’s an Innocent Human Being That Deserves Rights™. Now that you mention it, it probably won’t hurt as much. It’ll only turn into a luxury material object after it’s born.

PREGGERS PATRICIA: Never thought about it that way. If we’re all luxury items, then who owns us?

FEMINAZI FRAN: (laughs) Corporations, silly! They most definitely have personhood status. The Supreme Court said so!

(Awkward silence)

PREGGERS PATRICIA: Gee, thanks for the pick-me-up. I’m super depressed now.

FEMINAZI FRAN: All the more reason to support reform!

PREGGERS PATRICIA: I guess you’re right, Fran.

(Suddenly news breaks on the wall television)

TELEVISION: The House has passed its version of the Health Care Bill, and it has a strong public option!

(Pat and Fran cheer!)

FEMINAZI FRAN: YES! American citizens will finally have decent health care!

PREGGERS PATRICIA: HURRAY! I don’t feel bad about bringing a child into a corporate conglomerate nightmare that dehumanizes American citizens!

TELEVISION: The bill also includes the Stupak amendment, which not only forbids the public option from covering abortions, but also forbids individuals with affordability credits from buying private plans that cover them. This basically means that private insurers will simply not offer plans that cover abortions.

(PREGGERS PATRICIAand FEMINAZI FRAN stop cheering)

TELEVISION: This bill was added to appease Bart Stupak and other Blue Dog Democrats, who ended up not voting for the bill anyway. It can still be taken out of the bill, but then again, maybe not. So if you’re a chick that has an unwanted or dangerous pregnancy, well, tough tookus.

(Silence)

PREGGERS PATRICIA: Vroom.

FEMINAZI FRAN: Hmm?

PREGGERS PATRICIA: I don’t know what sound artificial wombs make, so I’m just sticking with car noises.

FEMINAZI FRAN: Vroom Vroom.

 

(Preggers Patricia, a preggo, and Feminazi Fran, an embittered harpy, are having tea in a restaurant. The topic switches to health care reform.)

Feminazi Fran: Women sure are treated like crud by insurance companies! Their rates are higher than men’s are, which is B.S. anyway but is even more B.S. when you consider that women still earn 70 cents per dollar a man makes. And the pre-existing conditions! Did you know that some companies consider domestic violence “pre-existing?”

Preggers Patricia: Well, it’s just business sense. If you have a car that they know beforehand is a complete lemon, why would they cover it? They’ll lose money.

(Feminazi Fran pauses)

Feminazi Fran: Do you think that’ll hurt?

Preggers Patricia: What’ll hurt?

FF: (points to Patricia’s belly) Giving birth to a car. Won’t that hurt?

(PP scoffs)

PP: How is my baby a car?

FF: Well, you just said they’re equivalent in the eyes of our insurance overlords.

PP: Oh, you’re being silly. Baby Lance/ Baby Loretta is not a car.

FF: Oh, s/he’s not a car yet. Right now s/he’s not only a person, s/he’s an Innocent Human Being That Deserves Rights™. Now that you mention it, it probably won’t hurt as much. It’ll only turn into a luxury material object after it’s born.

PP: Never thought about it that way. If we’re all luxury items, then who owns us?

FF: (laughs) Corporations, silly! The Supreme Court said so!

(Awkward silence)

PP: Gee, thanks for the pick-me-up. I’m super depressed now.

FF: All the more reason to support reform!

PP: Gee, I guess you’re right, Fran.

(Suddenly news breaks on the wall television)

TELEVISION: The House has passes it’s version of the Health Care Bill, and it has a strong public option!

(PP and FF cheer!)

FF: YES! American citizens will finally have decent health care!

PP: HURRAY! I don’t feel bad about bringing a child into a corporate conglomerate nightmare that dehumanizes American citizens!

TELEVISION: The bill also includes the Stupak amendment, which not only forbids the public option from covering abortions, but also forbids individuals with affordability credits from buying private plans that cover them. This basically means that private insurers will simply not offer plans that cover abortions.

(PP and FF stop cheering)

TELEVISION: This bill was added to appease Bart Stupak and other Blue Dog Democrats, who ended up not voting for the bill anyway. It can still be taken out of the bill, but then again, maybe not. So if you’re a chick that has an unwanted or dangerous pregnancy, well, tough tookus.

(Silence)

PP: Vroom.

FF: Hmm?

PP: I don’t know what sound artificial wombs make, so I’m just sticking with car noises.

FF: Vroom Vroom.

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1 Response to “Cars vs People”


  1. 1 jacksmith
    November 9, 2009 at 6:34 am

    Urgent!! Robert Reich on your healthcare http://bit.ly/SAQ7a

    Why A Strong Public Option Is Essential – By jacksmith – Working Class

    Robert Reich explains the pubic option: http://bit.ly/dDYSJ

    Hollywood Supports The Public Option :-) http://bit.ly/3XLwPi

    Beautiful HEATHER GRAHAM http://bit.ly/12sRYD :-)

    It’s not just because more than two thirds of the American people want a single payer health care system. And if they cant have a single payer system 77% of all Americans want a strong government-run public option on day one (86% of democrats, 75% of independents, and 72% republicans). Basically everyone.

    It’s not just because according to a new AARP POLL: 86 percent of seniors want universal healthcare security for All, including 93% of Democrats, 87% of Independents, and 78% of Republicans. With 79% of seniors supporting creating a new strong Government-run public option plan, available immediately. Including 89% of Democrats, 80% of Independents, and 61% of Republicans, STUNNING!!

    It’s not just because it will lower cost. Because a strong public option will dramatically lower cost for everyone. And dramatically improved the quality of care everyone receives in America and around the World. Rich, middle class, and poor a like.

    It’s not just because it will save trillions of dollars and prevent the needless deaths of millions more of YOU, caused by a rush to profit by the DISGRACEFUL, GREED DRIVEN, PRIVATE FOR PROFIT MEDICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!

    It’s not just because every expert in every field, including economist, and Nobel laureates all agree that free market based healthcare systems don’t work. Never have and never will. The US has the only truly free market based healthcare system in the World. And as you all know now, IT IS A DISASTER!

    It’s not just because providing or denying medically necessary care for profit motivations is wrong. Because it is WRONG! It’s professionally, ethically, and morally REPUGNANT!, Animalistic, VILE and EVIL.

    THE REASON THE PUBLIC OPTION IS ESSENTIAL:

    The public option is ESSENTIAL because over 200 million of you are trapped in the forest of the wolves. Which is the forest of the DISGRACEFUL, GREED DRIVEN, PRIVATE FOR PROFIT MEDICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX! With no way out except through needless inhumane suffering, and DEATH. While the wolves tear at your flesh, and rip you limb from lib. Then feast on your lifeless bodies like a dead carcase for transplant parts.

    At the most vulnerable times of your lives (when you were sick and hurting), millions of you have had to fight and loose cruel, but heroic battles. Fighting against the big guns of the DISGRACEFUL, GREED DRIVEN, PRIVATE FOR PROFIT MEDICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX! in the forest of the wolves. All because you have no place else to go. You have no other CHOICE!

    But the PUBLIC OPTION will give you someplace safe to go. And it will give us someplace safe to take you. The public option will be your refugium (your refuge). Where the wolves cannot get at you when your down, hurting, and vulnerable. Where everyone who needs it can find rest, security, comfort and the care they need. Protected by the BIG GUNS of We The People Of The United States. THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE AND COUNTRY ON EARTH.

    This is why it is so critical that we do not lead another 50 million vulnerable, uninsured Americans into the forest of the wolves, without the protections of a Strong Government-run MEDICARE like public option. We The People Of The United States MUST NOT LET THAT HAPPEN to any more of our fellow Americans. If healthcare reform does not contain a strong MEDICARE like public option on day one. YOU MUST! KILL IT. Or you will do far more harm than good. And millions more will die needlessly. Rich, middle class, and poor a like.

    To those who would continue to obstruct good and true healthcare reform for the American people, and who seek to trap millions more vulnerable Americans in the forest of the wolves. We will continue to fight you. We are prepared to wage all out war against you, and will eagerly DESTROY! you. Time…is…UP! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! No Co-op’s! No Triggers! NO INDIVIDUAL MANDATES! without a Strong MEDICARE like public option on day one.

    Healthcare reform can be the GREATEST! Accomplishment of our time and century. A time when future generations may say of us, that we were all, AMERICAS GREATEST GENERATIONS.

    BUT WE MUST ACT!

    I therefore call on all my fellow Americans and the peoples of the World. To join us in this fight so that we may finish becoming the better America that we aspire to be for everyone.

    SPREAD THE WORD!

    I have been privileged to be witness as many of you fought, and struggled to take your first breath, and your last breath on this earth. Rich, middle class, and poor a like. Life is precious.

    Whatever the cost. WE! MUST SUCCEED.

    God Bless You My Fellow Human Beings

    jacksmith – Working Class

    ATTENTION!! Congress Has The Votes Needed To Pass A Public Option – TODAY http://bit.ly/TCq7O

    Things You Can Do To Help NOW! http://www.everydaycitizen.com/2009/09/tired_of_watching_people_die_n.html

    A majority of voters would rather have a Democrats only bill with a Public Option. Than a bipartisan bill without a Public Option.

    A state based insurance plan is NOT!! a Public Option. Nor is it a Strong, National, Medicare like Public Option.

    No Triggers! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-rosenbaum/a-trigger-for-the-public_b_277910.html

    Triggers http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-sirota/weve-seen-these-triggers_b_283583.html

    Krugman on heathcare (http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/25/why-markets-cant-cure-healthcare/)

    Senator Bernie Sanders on healthcare (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSM8t_cLZgk&feature=player_embedded)

    John Garamendi on the Public Option and the Grassroots: http://bit.ly/TJMty

    Howard Dean on the Public Option http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SKfW2dUnow&feature=player_embedded

    We’re Number 37! in quality of health care http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVgOl3cETb4&feature=player_embedded

    Twitter search (#welovethenhs #NHS #hc09 #hcr #healthcar #obama #p2 #topprog #) Check it out.


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