Archive for December, 2010

30
Dec
10

Hands Off Regulating Business…Unless It’s A Freaky Weirdo Business

"...and I want it to say 'I Believe' underneath!"

The Globe has an article today about tattoo regulations that made me do a double take.

The owners of local tattoo shops say they are in favor of a state proposal to increase licensing fees for tattoo artists, as long as the additional revenue is used to enforce health rules aimed at improving public safety in their industry.

How sad is it that a business owner gladly accepting an increase in costs for the greater good is more surprising to me than the fact that creationists are willing to believe in unicorns?

It keeps the riffraff out,” [Body Accents owner Mike Rowland] said. “If you’re a professional shop, it shouldn’t bother you at all. What we really need is to get rid of all these people doing it in houses.

How many responsible dog breeders said something like this when Prop B was on the ballot? Perhaps they knew, or suspected, that they weren’t as professional as all that?

Anyway, I bopped on over to the comments section. Surely the stalwart champions of capitalism are howling in outrage?

Well, they are howling. They’re always howling. Globe comment threads are less like a forum and more like the area of a coliseum where they keep all the enraged exotic beasts.

chuck wrote:
These are the kind of fees that they need to raise. Leave my property taxes and sales taxes alone they are already high enough.

Yep, it’s OK to regulate THOSE businesses.

Anonymous
Does not matter whether you pay on the front side or the backside as most of these jailhouse ‘ink freaks’ will end up in custody and doing time at taxpayer expense, not to mention they won’t be allowed burial in a consecrated Jewish cemetery.

Crap! Who doesn’t want to be buried in a consecrated Jewish cemetery? That was my backup in case my wish to be stuffed and mounted in the Bass Pro Museum got tangled in legal snafus. Gotta revise my will, brb.

It cracks me up that some people still think getting a tattoo is “freakish”. Dumb, maybe, not your bag, maybe, but freakish? One third of twenty-something Americans have one. It’s well on the way to joining video-game-brainwashed school shooters and backwards rock albums in the graveyard of moral freakouts. But then again, a good proportion of Americans are willing to believe in unicorns.

Yeah, I’ve linked to that article twice in an unrelated blogpost. I just can’t get over it though. This stupid goomba believes in freaking unicorns and has thousands of people clinging to his every mouthfart. I digress.

28
Dec
10

It’s Even Worse When You Don’t Bother to Get the Quote Right

True story! Ask Dave Spiering. He's got the quote to prove it.

I don’t understand what people’s intentions are when they hold up the beliefs of individual Founders to prop up their arguments. Sure, these factoids are relevant from time to time. However, way too many people use them in the manner of “Founding Father X said (something), therefore we should (something),” as if these folks were infallible.

An example is in a recent Dave Spiering letter, in which he claims that America’s partisan bickering can be easily cured by everyone being True Christians™. Good idea! I bet that being identical to one another is sure to smooth out any tensions. That would probably work with any religion, though, and not just Spiering’s particular flavor of Christianity. It probably would work just as well if everyone became Scientologists, or Greens, or a species of hardy seabird. I digress though.

To back up his point, he misquotes John Adams, who he claims to have said that America was made for Christian people. Mr. Adams actually said, “our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people.” Nice sleight-of-hand there to excuse non-Christian religions, Mr. Spiering! However, the real quote still spells doom for the moral and non-religious people, no?

My fellow debate-lovers and quote-droppers are probably writhing in their seats right now. “But wait! Most of the Founders were non-Christian deists! Even Mr. Adams got some zingers ripping on religion! One time he said, ‘This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it.’ Then there’s Thomas Paine and Benjamin Franklin…” and blah blah blah.

I think these quotes are, by and large, irrelevant. Patrick Henry said “give me liberty or give me death” during a time in his life when he owned 65 slaves. Patrick Henry’s 18th century ideas of liberty simply won’t fly in the 21st. I doubt there are many 18th century anythings that would.

Here are the only words of the Founders that matter: the ones that they bothered to commit to the U.S. Constitution. Back then it was the most radical thing out there. It said the people could govern themselves, without deferring to a king, and God isn’t even mentioned once. The closest thing we have is the freedom of religion bit, which implies that no, you don’t even have to defer to a god.

Not only are America’s cherished freedoms not dependent on Christianity, I would argue that America holds these freedoms in spite of it. We are free to view nothing as divine- not kingly authority, not gods, and not even out-of-context quotes from Founding Fathers.

24
Dec
10

Kaje’s Kwik Krappy Khristmas Komic

Merry Giftmas, everyone! Your gift is below the jump.

(comic NSFW for festively harsh language and surly demeanor)

Continue reading ‘Kaje’s Kwik Krappy Khristmas Komic’

20
Dec
10

British Women Get Sterilized, Freak People Out

It seems like a no-brainer: if you don’t want to be fertile, you should be able to make that choice. However, this is a world where you can’t even get a haircut without being interrogated on whether your boyfriend gave you permission*.  So you get things like this story in the Telegraph, about a clinic that offers the quick-and-easy Essure procedure to women.

A private clinic claims it is the first in the country to offer a “walk in – walk out” ten minute procedure which permanently renders a woman infertile.

[...]

But its efforts to market the procedure to women who want to make such decisions in secret has sparked a row among medical experts, who say it is an “unethical and cynical” attempt to encourage dishonesty in relationships.

Hee hee. “Row.” British people speak funny.

Anyway, I had a mixed response. My first response was “OMG WHERE IS THIS PLACE DO THEY TAKE SINGLE WOMEN,” immediately followed by “Britain. Crap.” My second (or third, whichever) response was “Wow, it must suck to be in a relationship where you feel like you have to go behind your guy’s back to take control of your health. That can’t end good.”

Then you realize that yeah, it does suck to be in that sort of relationship. That’s the reality for a lot of people- they’re involved with an abusive partner who won’t rest until they get their way regarding children. When you realize that, you realize that such services are not only necessary, but long overdue.

But then, not all of the patients are in abusive relationships. Maybe they saw an opportunity to get a less meddlesome procedure and took it. Maybe they’re the abusers. Maybe they’re sluts or prostitutes or Satanists or bwap bwap bwap BESIDES THE POINT.

What does it matter the motive of the women? Why did this clinic choose to capitalize on secrecy in the first place? Why is there so much hand-wringing over women electing to be sterile?

Of course, if you’re a regular reader you know the answer already. It wasn’t that long ago that the birth control pill was only prescribed to married women who already had kids. The reason why it was that way for the pill, and it’s currently that way for permanent or semi-permanent sterilization procedures, is the same. It’s because we like to assume women are too dumb to make their own life choices. Especially choices that aren’t patriarchally correct.

I hope that Cadogan Clinic continues to offer convenient Essure procedures for any woman who wants them. Further, I hope more clinics follow their lead, in Britain and elsewhere.

*Seriously, what is up with this? I go get a haircut, the stylist always asks if my boyfriend/husband is OK with it. Not “are you sure” or even “do you have a boyfriend”, they just go ahead and assume I’m married to Captain Vidal. Is every stylist I go to a closet lesbian discreetly checking if I’m available? I am suspicious of this notion.

20
Dec
10

JGM: A Lesson in The Circle of Life

Burney Johnson really, really doesn’t like animals. Now he’s gone from frothing hatred of wild mesocarnivores to the more domesticated kind.

In nature, when an animal gets old or sick, a predator animal kills and eats it.

Wait, are you FOR predators and the natural way of things now? Most of your letters are complaints about cougars and bears killing and eating stuff. Make up your mind!

Also, there was a weird paragraph in this bit from the Oregonian (bold mine).

That’s been much of our history in the postwar boom decades. Mounting prosperity, greater longevity, a standard of living unmatched anywhere — all can mask deficiency or weakness. Yes, Vietnam and AIDS and civil rights, and now more wars and terrorism, have challenged and continue to challenge the national psyche.

One of these things is not like the other. Also, our longevity and prosperity is falling pretty steeply now. FYI.

19
Dec
10

Joplin Globe Madness: Happy Nineteenthmas

First off, here’s some conditional holiday cheer from the ever-loving Rita Crowell. No abortfemilibs need apply!

I heard you wanted clueless white privilege for Nineteenthmas! I hope Dave Spiering by way of Don Landrith will work.

Some background: Joplin DA Tom Mann was asked to resign after several incidences of making tasteless remarks, which we know nothing about except that the last one was supposedly racial in nature. Landrith doesn’t think that a guy who hates people for arbitrary reasons should be barred from a job where you have the fate of people’s lives in your hands.

Most of the letter is copypasta from Spiering; it’s basically “why can’t we say the N-word” writ large. Apparently holding people accountable for racist remarks is prejudiced against white people. Oh, you poor, poor white guys! So persecuted! Somebody pray to Saint Imus.

The few original bits include this:

The era of political correctness is rampant and because of an importunate individual who insisted to get his case heard before other people ahead of him, Tom, by his own admission, made a vitriolic remark that was uncalled for. His apology to the court personnel that were present should have been sufficient, and his dismissal seems uncalled for.

There are dark-skinned Americans, red-skinned Americans, yellow-skinned Americans and white Americans.

The common thread is we are all Americans.

Indeed! We are all Americans! And if you fail to uphold that ideal by treating some Americans like crap based on skin color, like Mr. Mann did, you’re probably not going to make a good public defender! Or a good anything.

Ditto those who defend such. I’m glad Mr. Landrith is a former city councilman.

 

17
Dec
10

They Ain’t Kidding When They Say They’re For “Traditional Family Values”

166 anti-choice House members blocked an anti-child marriage bill, because apparently the children involved weren’t in utero, so who cares?

In the hours before the vote, Republicans circulated a memo to pro-life members of Congress alleging that the bill could fund abortions and use child marriage “to overturn pro-life laws.” It also reiterated concerns over the bill’s cost. When it came time for a vote, a number of the bill’s pro-life supporters in both parties abandoned ship. Even co-sponsors of the corresponding House bill (H.R. 2103), like Marcy Kaptur (D-Ohio) and Lee Terry (R-Neb.), voted against it.

Never mind that the bill  doesn’t even mention abortion or any other sort of family planning, but whatevs.

Just your daily reminder that the pro-lifers actively hate women and girls, and always, always lie.

EDIT: Some of the people who dig raping little girls include our very own  Jo Ann Emerson, Sam Graves, Blaine Luetkemeyer, Todd Akin, and of course Roy Blunt. You might want to send them a letter or something, to express your support for raping little girls.

Fun fact: back in college I (badly) wrote a Onion-type article detailing Roy Blunt’s plan to make a rape squad out of pardoned ex-felons to encourage a pro-life, pro-marriage culture among Missouri’s single women. I then taped it to the wall in several locations around campus. It caused a wee bit of controversy in the form of pencil graffiti debates. I miss school, but more importantly I miss a life when I was unaware of this wretched little man.

 

16
Dec
10

A Thor Spot for White Supremacists

Heimdall as a fierce manly white man! FIERCE!

I haven’t read any of the Thor comics, so I wasn’t planning on seeing the upcoming movie. But goshdarnit, someone’s decided to boycott it. Now the wafting fumes of controversy strangely compel me to pay attention to a pop cultural phenomenon I would have otherwise ignored.

O Hollywood! Whose wrath have you provoked with your unwitting meddling?

Turns out its our very own Council of Conservative Christians. They’re mad because their second favorite religion (next to the cult of their wounded pride) is getting peeceeified with the casting of (I assume) a socialist Kenyan secret Muslim as Heimdall.

The Missouri-based Council of Conservative Citizens, labeled as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, writes that Marvel has “[declared] war on Norse mythology” by giving the pantheon “an insulting multi-cultural make-over” in the form of Idris Elba, the English actor known for his roles in The Wire, The Losers and The Office.

Hold up! A SCANDINAVIAN god is being played by an ENGLISH actor? What is Hollywood THINKING?!?

Normally I’m not a fan of racebending, but I’m more willing to let it slide if A. It’s the privileged actors who get the shaft, and B. It annoys white supremacists. Who wants to go see Thor with me?

16
Dec
10

Joplin Globe Madness: Loving Your Company

It sucks to be completely disillusioned with politics, don’t it? Especially when one of your hobbies is a somewhat political blog. It’s like dutifully following a loser football team, until one year the stars align and they have everything-EVERYTHING!- in the bag. Great new players, new coaches, a dope smitty new stadium with a roof that doesn’t collapse under the slightest snowfall, and they totally cream every team they encounter. Then they make it to the Super Bowl, against the team you hate the very most…and they take a blatant and humiliating dive. To a team that’s comprised of Tim Tebows. And you wonder what good is it rooting for anyone else other than that team, the Wasilla Fightin’ Whities.

But at least the other team’s fans, like Dianne Slater, are suffering with me.

It’s hard to believe that after such a strong message from the voters back in November, that Congress continues to act as though it’s business as usual.

What message was that? What message do I send when my doctor hammers my knee? The message is that I have basic neurological reflexes that react without any thought put into it. Much like the average voter.

So you threw a hissy fit over a do-nothing Congress, voted against your own interests, unwittingly hired a bunch of obstructionist clowns and made everything worse.

Cry me a river, you big dope.

02
Dec
10

Makin’ Jobs

It’s a real bummer that the federal government is instituting a pay freeze for its employees, and that useful, common sense projects, such as high-speed rail, are getting the axe just for the sake of knee-jerk partisan showboating.

But at least Kentucky is going to spend $37 million dollars to create 900 new jobs! And what are those jobs? Carnies 4 Jesus!

On Wednesday, Gov. Steve Beshear unveiled plans for a new tourist attraction in Grant County that will feature a full-scale replica of Noah’s Ark.

Ark Encounter LLC, a for-profit entity, and Answers in Genesis, the nonprofit ministry that built the Creation Museum in Petersburg, will partner to build the $150 million Ark Encounter on a 160-acre site.

I will be in the corner, awaiting the sputtered notes of protest from oh-so principled teabaggers. DON’T YOU KNOW OUR CHILDREN WILL BE INHERITING DEBT!?! They certainly won’t have a surplus of intelligence or credentials for high-tech jobs.

Maybe we can get better infrastructure in this country if every project had an earmark to fund saddled fiberglass dinosaurs for photo-ops.

(Another fun fact: Governor Steve Beshear is a Democrat. Bunch of godless abortanazis, no?)




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