On This Day, We Are All Av-I-Tar

Surely you’re already familiar with commenting on the Globe’s articles. You don’t register, and nothing is required outside a verification code and a comment. It is simply assumed that you will put in your name, e-mail address and whatnot. It’s also assumed that you won’t use anyone else’s handle or commit sockpuppetry. This assumes honesty and decency which simply doesn’t exist anywhere, especially on the internet and double especially on the Globe’s site. The Globe’s lack of registration is a sitting duck. Any n00b who has difficulty making HTML codes would laugh at this setup.

I think if such a system were to be abused, it would best be abused by folks with the Globe’s best interests in mind. I’ll come back to that.

Another thing you’re probably familiar with is the fact that the Globe comments are batfuck crazy and hateful. In this kingdom of filth, one commenter named Av-I-Tar wears the crown. So Joplin Expats decided to have some fun and pretend to be Av-I-Tar for a while. The real (?) Av-I-Tar flipped his shit, despite the fact that no one could tell the difference between the real and the fake. At least I couldn’t. I’m not convinced that the real Av-I-Tar is just some liberal punking us all, anyway.

Joplin Expats was just up for a bit of fun at the expense of a psycho godbag, and so am I when you scrape the surface, but I see potential for so much more. I propose that EVERYONE post under the name Av-I-Tar. You can mimic his comments, or just write normal ones, it doesn’t matter as long as you use “Av-I-Tar” as your handle.

Perhaps, if enough people abuse the system and render conversations useless, perhaps the Globe’s site designers will be motivated to put some registration system in so we know who it is we’re talking to.

Who Haven’t the Republicans Whipped Out Their Haterade On?

(image c/o Mother Jones)

Let’s see. They covered vulnerable voters with ACORN. They are losing the Wisconsin battle, but are winning the war on unions. They’re currently whacking away at uppity bitches. Who else is left?

Oh hey…don’t forget college students!

“Voting as a liberal. That’s what kids do,” [NH Speaker William O'Brien] added, his comments taped by a state Democratic Party staffer and posted on YouTube. Students lack “life experience,” and “they just vote their feelings.”

New Hampshire House Republicans are pushing for new laws that would prohibit many college students from voting in the state – and effectively keep some from voting at all.

One bill would permit students to vote in their college towns only if they or their parents had previously established permanent residency there – requiring all others to vote in the states or other New Hampshire towns they come from. Another bill would end Election Day registration, which O’Brien said unleashes swarms of students on polling places, creating opportunities for fraud.

I think that just about covers it!

Hey, you remember when the Reps succeeded in destroying ACORN with its fake-ass “pimp sting” (much like that stupid Lila Rose failcow and her failcow stunt)? Because that demonstrated voter fraud on ACORN’s part, somehow. Meanwhile, Republicans are actively passing laws to  disenfranchise voters. LOL.

Rock Me Sexy Jesus

Except for Ignite, maybe. You should totally buy this shirt, btw!*

So apparently there’s a wee Joplin church that decided to cut human sexuality a little slack in its ad campaign for its joyless anti-sex religion. This has aggravated normal practitioners of the joyless anti-sex religion, who have the impression that an ideal world is a world of sexless neuters and stupid kids.

“People bring their kids to Sonic and their kids are going to look at that sign and say, ‘Mommy what’s that mean?’ and, oh my God, and then that parent has to explain,” Warren said.

Oh no, you’ll have to explain something to your kids! How could this church rob your delusion that keeping reality from your child for as long as possible is a good thing and that kids won’thear about sex from other kids before they even reach kindergarten children of their innocence? What’s next? Condom commercials during our gory police procedural shows?

Seriously, if you don’t want to explain sex to your kids, here’s a suggestion. Get a cat, get it fixed, and don’t have kids until you grow a pair. (“A pair of what, Mommy?” OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE)

A hearty huzzah to Ignite for taking the first baby step towards having a healthy attitude towards sex. Isn’t it sad, though, that I’m giving a cookie to someone for merely acknowledging that sex exists and isn’t an evil, dirty thing?

Then I remember that this is a region where people freak out over National Geographic.**

* This shirt is available here.

**Holy crap, have you seen this month’s issue? They have an article on domesticated foxes. No word on naked people, but I can’t wait to buy it nonetheless.

Two Things I Was Involved With Instead of This Blog

Wow. Between work and the tits-out Republican berserker assault on everything good, I have been totally burned out on all blogular activities. My last post was pretty much a rerun, for cripes!

Instead:

1. I’ve been helping my friend Whitney move to the lost city of Atlanta. Go read his blog and send good vibes! Not cheap vibes that break after so many uses! We want top shelf stuff!

2. I have been designing shirts for manboobz.com, Dave Futrelle’s hilarious misogyny-mocking blog. They’ve gone live today and you should totally buy one, since all proceeds go to charity. Also, did I mention I got to collaborate with Shaenon K. freaking Garrity, creator of the classic webcomic Narbonic? I’ve done nothing to deserve such awesomeness!

(After you’re done shopping there, I also have a Zazzle, and a Spreadshirt store. They are both NSFW, especially the latter one)

3. I have been playing old adventure games on my iPhone, unfortunately I cannot link to any of my achievements (both technically and out of a sense of dignity) so you’ll have to take my word for it. Hey PC-to-iPhone app porters! How about one of you get the rights for Shivers and port that shit! And will Microids ever stop dragging its ass on a Syberia port?

First They Came for Westboro Baptist…

People people people. I know that most of you, liberal or conservative, straight and queer, all nations and colors and creeds, the whole lot of you hate Westboro Baptist. As do I.

Also, the whole lot of you think that the Supreme Court made a terrible decision ruling in their favor. You are wrong.

“Oh geez, not another literal First Amendment humper,” you think. “What about shouting fire in theaters, the right to assemble peacefully bwap bwap bwap bwap bwap…”

You misunderstand! Those are important, sure, but there is something you forget.

If the Supreme Court had ruled against funeral protests, we wouldn’t be able to protest Fred’s funeral in time for National Asshat Day.

Are you so hasty to spite WBC that you’re willing to forgo the ultimate prize? BIG PICTURE, PEOPLE!