Archive for July, 2011

12
Jul
11

Some Advice, and a Preemptive Retraction

Socially awkward!

Some advice for all the single fellas out there:

If you text a girl you met briefly once (during a very awkward and embarrassing situation) and she says she’s not interested, that means it’s time to stop texting her. Don’t text her a day later. Don’t text her a week later. Don’t text her to just be friends when neither of you even knows the other. Don’t text her after she mentions she has a boyfriend now and she is definately not interested in you. Don’t text her to spend a weekend alone with you on the river, even if you “let her bring her boyfriend*”. Do not text her in a box. Do not text her with a fox. Just stop. fucking. texting. her.

Just my two cents.

——————-

I just realized I criticized and otherwise failed to appreciate a guy’s efforts to get into my pants.

oh my God what have I done

This poor, socially awkward fellow! To be called out (anonymously) so callously for his socially awkward behavior. Now that he has incurred consequences (except he hasn’t because y’know, anonymity) of his socially awkward behavior, he might be so scarred as to not be so socially awkward. And what will he use as an excuse to creep on women?

And that brute offered me a weekend getaway camping on the river. How scandalous. Look out, girls, if you’re not careful some madman might offer you a stay at a Hawaiian resort. Don’t want that happening, no sir! How could that possibly be read as threatening!

After all, humans are hardwired to reproduce! Therefore it follows that all efforts to get nookie are sacrosanct and that people should never, ever be criticized or held accountable for their actions. Boys will be boys! Hurk hurk.

Why didn’t I just say “no?” Maybe he didn’t hear the first time. Maybe I dressed too slutty?

And finally, STARVING WOMEN IN CHINA!

I apologize world. I’ll shut up now.

* I mentioned the fact that this boyfriend is a black belt in taekwondo. HE'S STILL FUCKING TEXTING ME THE MORON



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