Archive for October, 2011

27
Oct
11

Don’t Tread On Me

Don't Tread on Me, but if the government treads on you you probably deserved it. Why don't you get a job, hippie?

The next time I see a teabagger with a “Don’t Tread on Me” decal, flag or shirt, I will ask them when they were violently oppressed by government agents.

They will probably respond with something about socialist witch doctors and being raped by cigarette taxes, maybe make a few caveman noises for flavor.

At the conclusion of this discussion, I will proceed to tread on them in the crotch with my knees.

25
Oct
11

I made a font

It’s called Anning. You can download it here.

22
Oct
11

Kaje Komics: Don’t Tell Him About Jesusween

Happy Halloween, everybody.

Happy Halloween, everybody

I’ve been reading too many Hark, A Vagrant comics. I had to force myself to use punctuation.

20
Oct
11

Joplin Globe Madness: The Descent of Dan

It’s been said that Dan Walters is one of the best Globe letter writers. By me, anyway. But his latest missive has left me underwhelmed. It’s basic form letter whining about PHAMRY VALUES, with just a dash of welfare bashing.

Hint hint, guys. Welfare not going to married people first is a “penalty” in the same way that having a gash on your arm and being treated after the guy with a rebar impaled through his head is a penalty. Married people tend to be more financially secure then those who aren’t.

It’s just boring boring boring. He needs to crank up the venom, like in his old letters. I appreciate the passive aggressive addressing of the Globe editorial staff as fancy big word users with college book learnin’ in the fourth paragraph, but it’s not enough. I hope he’s not mellowing with age. I need something to chew on.

Hey! Maybe you can take up my chewing slack in the fancy new Globe comments system. Yeah, it’s old news by now but whatever. The Globe finally got rid of the fucking anonymous comment system. Yay! Thanks guys!

Can I make a suggestion though? Can you make the new comment apps mobile friendly? I do pretty much all my intertubing by phone now. I’d appreciate it mucho.

13
Oct
11

Joplin Globe Madness: Don Ray Am the 53%

Don Ray has just noticed that the precious widdle left is “stirring up trouble!” Which he then goes on to say is threatening to unravel the very fabric of America, after going out of his way to be as patronizing as possible. Like toddlers who throw crayons on the floor, if the crayons were made of anthrax and the floor was a nuclear missile launch button.

I’m guessing Mr. Ray is not part of the 1%, but rather the 53%. That’s the part of the 99% that loves sucking corporate cock. Their movement is summed up thusly:

(If you don’t get the reference, here:)

11
Oct
11

Are You Ready To Be Touched By JesusWeen?

I think a rock might actually be preferable.

I’m always amused by the efforts of insecure Christians to try and replace the second most popular American holiday with one where it’s acceptable to give children Chick Tracts instead of Reese’s Cups. “Trunk or treats!” “Harvest parties!” “Creation Parties!” The efforts are all as scattershot as they are laughably boring.

I think they’ve finally hit gold, though. Ladies and gentlemen, I present JesusWeen.

JesusWeen is a non profit organization also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live better lives through the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. JesusWeen is a God-given vision which was born as an answer to the cry of many every October 31st. The dictionary meaning of Ween is to expect, believe or think.

It’s also the name of a band that people keep trying to make me listen to. The more you bug me about it, the less likely I am to listen. Maybe Ween needs a holiday to spread the word about themselves. Call it WeenWeen.

Every year, the world and its system have a day set aside (October 31st) to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters while Christians all over the world participate, hide or just stay quiet on Halloween day. Being a day that is widely acceptable to solicit and knock on doors, God inspired us to encourage Christians to use this day as an opportunity to spread the gospel. The days of hiding are over and we choose to take a stand for Jesus. “Evil prevails when good people do nothing”. JesusWeen is expected to become the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that is why we also call it” World Evangelism Day”.

Oh wow! They really are just putting Bibles in kid’s candy sacks. Way to ween one for Jesus. In the meantime, I will be enjoying my ungodly images and evil characters. At least they don’t skimp on the Reese’s Cups.




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