(Crossposted at my Tumblr)
I’m arguing with this guy on facebook. And then this happened.
Fun fact: the day prior he interviewed me for his comparative religion class. I have a feeling I won’t be presented fairly.
Rita wrote in today, but nobody cares. Not when there’s fresh meat around. Especially fresh meat that spews every non-grievance grievance into an incoherent jumble of white whining*?
Ladies and gentlemen, Julia Miller does not whine. She vents.
She starts off whining about smoker’s rights. Now, I’m all for legal drugs and employee rights, and I go back and forth on smoking bans (on one hand: worker safety; on the other hand, smoking sections usually don’t have screaming kids), and I’ve got an eye for implied freedoms in the spirit of the Constitution.
That being said, there is no such thing as even implied smoker’s rights in the Constitution. Unless you interpret a cigarette as an arm you can bear. You can kill people with it, but it’s kind of a slow way isn’t it? I can appreciate you wanting to kill someone slowly and painfully, we all have days like that, but there’s a limit for Pete’s sake! That’s what God gave us Draino and opaque drinks for. I really wish the smoker’s lobby would change their terminology.
Anyway, she wants to be tolerated by employers. Just follow her example!
If that’s acceptable, then let’s take a look at banning obese health care employees. At one time or another, we’ve all been subjected to an enormous person, huffing and puffing, and perspiring, and their flab is laying on some part of our body while tending to their duties. As a smoker with emphysema, I breathe easier, and get around better than most obese people.
…Wow. I’m “subjected” to obese people every day. Depending on your definition of obese (which varies wildly), I’m sadly subjected to my fat ass every moment. Personally I’d rather be subjected to 100 obese people than one superficial self-absorbed wanker like Julia Miller. Unfortunately, I’m also subjected to Julia Millers every day too. Maybe we can get random catty jerk screenings at work?
Reflecting on fat people reminds her that there are other people who aren’t like her, and she totally unravels.
Like Mexicans and presidents!
We have a president who’s selling us out to East Indian nations, while living high on the hog. And, next in line, this once great nation is “hell bent for leather” in becoming the “Northern United States of Mexico.”
And of course she’s a fucking stuck-up godbag as well. As Jesus said, “Ye are the light of the world. Also NO FAT CHICKS.”
Thank God, (oh, no, I dared to mention him) I won’t live to see some of the devastation.
Oh hey! Did you hear about Jessica Ahlquist, Julia Miller? Did you hear how her side totally creamed yours in court? And how your side is totally shitting the bed, threatening her, griping like spoiled children…basically pulling a Julia Miller? And how nothing they can do can change the fact that they lost horribly?
I just thought you might like to hear that. I know I do.
Anyway! Don’t forget to tell us how persecuted white people are!
I’m so Caucasian I glow in the dark, but that’s an atrocity these days. You can celebrate, and days are set aside to celebrate, being anything other than a white, heterosexual person.
First off, if you’re glowing in the dark, that’s not Caucasian. That’s a bioluminescent deep-sea fish. You’re not even a fucking tetrapod. Stop meddling in human sociopolitics, fish.
Second off, as previously stated everywhere else, they do have white hetero pride days. They’re called EVERY DAY. Privilege! LEARN IT.
After taking a dig at people who use a word to describe their ethnicity and their nationality, but before the hilarious parting shot about immigration (please, somebody dig up this woman’s family tree and see if her ancestors came here “the right way”. As in not just showing up and claiming any Indian land you set foot on.), she concludes thus:
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if everyone relearned the meaning of “tolerance,” and truly came here for the right reasons?
The true meaning of tolerance, it turns out, is “don’t be noticeably different than me and if you are, don’t challenge my privilege and assumptions. And don’t leave your house if you’re fat.”
Maybe we should make February “Chain Smoking Snotty White Wanker History Month.” I nominate Julia for the planning committee.
*Speaking of which, if you haven’t already you should go to whitewhine.com. It’s like this letter, only less consolidated.
Shawna Forde, a leader of a spinoff group of Minutemen (which here is defined as “xenophobic gun nuts who run around in the desert playing vigilante border guard”), was in need of dough. Instead of selling angel food cakes like normal people, she and her group came up with the brilliant idea to raid the homes of drug smugglers for cash. So they targeted the home of the Flores family, who were non-drug smuggling American citizens.
Early on the morning of May 30, 2009, Raul Flores heard a knock at the door of his Arivaca, Arizona, home. When he opened it, he found a man and a woman claiming to be law-enforcement officers in search of fugitives. Minutes later, the man shot Flores to death. Then, authorities say, he pumped three bullets into Flores’ wife, Gina Gonzalez, who survived but played dead. “Why did you shoot my mom?” Gonzalez’s 9-year-old daughter, Brisenia Flores, asked the gunman, according to prosecutors. Those were her last words. The man put a gun to her head, fired off two rounds, and killed her. (The Daily Beast)
Shawna Forde was acting in official capacity as the leader an offshoot of Minutemen, has ties to Aryan Nation groups, and has alluded to waging race wars and war against the U.S. government in the past. In short, she was yet another lone nut who was completely unaffected by right-wing rhetoric. Just like the last 20 that we’ve heard of.
This story, like the MLK bomb planter and most other people murdered senselessly for stupid authoritarian causes, has been totally ignored by the media. My request is this: tell everyone you know about this story. Follow that link and play the 911 call a mother made after her husband and 9-year old daughter were gunned down before her eyes.
People need to hear about this, but no one’s willing to speak up.
So! I heard there’s this new version of Huck Finn that says “slave” instead of “nigger”. I have heard this several godzillion times. As have you. This story seems to sting America more than a congresswoman getting a bullet in the brain.
Disclaimer: I, too, think it’s stupid. So do the vast majority of people, including most non-stupid people.
How do you differentiate between the stupid and non-stupid? Easy. The stupid ones bring up rap music.
Facebook! Help me out!
Or, they think that all future copies of the book will be edited, and current copies burned en masse by order of the Ministry of Literature.
Or…I don’t even know what the hell this is.
Either this woman is perpetrating the most slapdash retcon ever, or she’s somehow thinking of the word “raptor.” Your knowledge of Latin is only impressive if you get your terms right, hun.
Ah, remember the time when the Globe’s Facebook page was a lot less insufferable than comments on the Globe site itself? I blame you, intelligent tech-savvy youth, for teaching your dumb relatives how to set up Facebook accounts.
Anyway! Let’s tackle the censorship angle, shall we? It’s true, censoring the word is stupid and prudish. However, only one publisher is doing this. If you want the uncensored version, your limited options are every other publisher of the book. The one world government isn’t pulling a George Lucas and annihilating the original version. It’s an option for people who can’t handle “nigger” in a historical context. Stop making up stories about PC Police. In fact, the only calls for one version being banned completely seems to be coming from our side, from those who don’t understand that our version is not being completely replaced by the other version.
Now to the rap music part…why am I even dignifying this with a rebuttal? I could bring up privilege, reclamation, intent, all that to the white people who just have a bug up their arse about black people and wouldn’t want to hear the facts anyway. That’s all unnecessary, however.
We have established that the new Huck Finn is merely a censored alternative to the original, correct? So for this to be a double standard, it would have to be impossible for record companies to release censored versions of songs that normally have objectionable language. If you’re like me and have been burned by purchasing a “clean” CD at Wal-Mart (or worse, was exposed to Kidz Bop), you know this is not the case.
Sorry folks, but your demands for the scary black music to be neutered in retaliation are completely toothless. Tipper Gore already gave you Parental Advisory stickers, what more do you want?
First off, here’s some conditional holiday cheer from the ever-loving Rita Crowell. No abortfemilibs need apply!
I heard you wanted clueless white privilege for Nineteenthmas! I hope Dave Spiering by way of Don Landrith will work.
Some background: Joplin DA Tom Mann was asked to resign after several incidences of making tasteless remarks, which we know nothing about except that the last one was supposedly racial in nature. Landrith doesn’t think that a guy who hates people for arbitrary reasons should be barred from a job where you have the fate of people’s lives in your hands.
Most of the letter is copypasta from Spiering; it’s basically “why can’t we say the N-word” writ large. Apparently holding people accountable for racist remarks is prejudiced against white people. Oh, you poor, poor white guys! So persecuted! Somebody pray to Saint Imus.
The few original bits include this:
The era of political correctness is rampant and because of an importunate individual who insisted to get his case heard before other people ahead of him, Tom, by his own admission, made a vitriolic remark that was uncalled for. His apology to the court personnel that were present should have been sufficient, and his dismissal seems uncalled for.
There are dark-skinned Americans, red-skinned Americans, yellow-skinned Americans and white Americans.
The common thread is we are all Americans.
Indeed! We are all Americans! And if you fail to uphold that ideal by treating some Americans like crap based on skin color, like Mr. Mann did, you’re probably not going to make a good public defender! Or a good anything.
Ditto those who defend such. I’m glad Mr. Landrith is a former city councilman.
This comic lay unfinished in my basement for two years. I thought it was somewhat topical, so I dug it out and did a rush ink job. It’s super sloppy and still has pencil marks and doesn’t have much of a punchline and may be interpreted as a threat, but eh.
THIS COMIC HAS NAUGHTY WORDS. ENJOY! (it’s below the jump)
I was reading this awesome article on Alternet and was reminded of the outrage aimed at Westboro Baptist.
WBC being a bunch of wasted flesh is quite possibly the only issue that Americans can agree on. Everybody and their dittohead dad hates them. What sort of monster protests in front of the grieving to make a point about their particular godmonkey’s will?
Ahem. See me pointing to that link above? You should seriously click it.
The people in that article lost a child, too. Godbotherers wanted to make a stupid non-point about their stupid imaginary friend. The father proceeded to rip the classless shits a new one.
Abortion clinic protesters are exactly like Fred Phelps. Nope, it’s not hyperbole. They are ideological vultures that prey on the grieving to make stupid points about how much some people (be it women, gays or soldiers) are nothing compared to the whims of their stupid imaginary friends.
Apparently Lamar is becoming a hotspot for grandstanding godbags. Earlier this year we had Dr. Sharp’s Big Silly Jesus Circus come to town, and that was bad enough. But say what you will, to my knowledge Dr. Sharp doesn’t protest the funerals of soldiers. Not like those sacs of gonorrhea pus known to human beings as Westboro Baptist Church.
They’re showing up this Saturday to protest the funeral of Pfc. Dylan T. Reid.
Happy Halloween everybody, and remember, God hates fags–so hate him back!
If you want to help the Patriot Guard stand against these dopes, show up at 11:30 in the parking lot across from Daniel Funeral Home.
Also, proof that teabaggers should be converted into some sort of alternative fuel source, since they utterly fail as sentient creatures worthy of respect.
JOPLIN, Mo. — Is anyone surprised that Obama supports a Muslim worship site built near Ground Zero?
I personally think it’s an international slap in the face from the Muslims.
If they build a mosque there, then maybe someone should open a bar, strip club and barbecue joint across the street from them. Then listen to them whine.
They already have strip clubs, gay bars, and places that serve pork nearby. You would know this if you even read a single paragraph of the opposing side’s points, which you didn’t because you’re a spoonfed moron. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, shut your stupid useless mouth.
Somebody please take away this man’s right to vote. In this one case, I’ll look away.
As long as we’re bringing up Confederate Americans and other oxymorons, I’ve got this hilarious story about gay conservatives c/o Shakesville.
GOProud, which describes itself as representing “gay conservatives and their allies”, invited Ann Coulter to speak at their event. Here’s the poster:
That’s not the funniest part.
WND says that Coulter’s decision to speak at Homocon, an event sponsored by a gay Republican organization called GOProud, disqualifies her from speaking at their “Taking America Back National Conference.”
“Ultimately, as a matter of principle, it would not make sense for us to have Ann speak to a conference about ‘taking America back’ when she clearly does not recognize that the ideals to be espoused there simply do not include the radical and very ‘unconservative’ agenda represented by GOProud,” WND editor and CEO Joseph Farah said. “The drift of the conservative movement to a brand of materialistic libertarianism is one of the main reasons we planned this conference from the beginning.”
That’s not the funniest part.
The funniest part came when Coulter stuck up for gay conservatives like the ally she is:
“They hired me to give a speech, so I’m giving a speech. I do it all the time,” she said. “I speak to a lot of groups and do not endorse them. I speak at Harvard and I certainly don’t endorse their views. I’ve spoken to Democratic groups and liberal Republican groups that loooove abortion. The main thing I do is speak on college campuses, which is about the equivalent of speaking at an al-Qaida conference. I’m sure I agree with GOProud more than I do with at least half of my college audiences. But in any event, giving a speech is not an endorsement of every position held by the people I’m speaking to.”
She doesn’t really like queers, but by God she’ll take their money. Just like Judy Garland!
Now that’s funny.
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