Posts Tagged ‘Insufferable Busybodies

18
Oct
13

Update on PP Arsonist

An arrest has been made.

Jedediah Stout, 30, of Joplin, was charged today in U.S. District Court in Springfield with attempting to damage or destroy the center by fire or explosive materials twice on Oct. 3 and Oct. 4. The U.S. Department of Justice said in a news release that both times Stout threw bags containing an accelrant onto the roof of the center and then ignited material attached to those bags.

With a name like Jedidiah Stout, you kinda have to be a right-wing nutter.

Also! Unless there’s more than one Jedidiah Stout, here’s his Facebook.

19
Mar
12

Joplin Globe Madness: THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT PAYING FOR BIRTH CONTROL

I appreciate Kay Bradley’s reality check in Sunday’s paper. I especially appreciate the sheer effort she put in journeying from her reality into ours.

In our clamoring for our sweet, sweet child support money and abortion parties, we often forget just how lucky we are here, in the world’s #37th best country for health care. I forgot how easy it was to get birth control. I forgot about the healthcare programs which provide birth control for low income families, which is odd considering how I”m constantly reading about attempts to get these programs defunded or rendered toothless with medieval regulations.

This may be hard to believe, but not all women have the same access to contraception as Kay Bradley. I know, people for some reason live differently than Kay Bradley and expect to be taken seriously.

Ok I am trying to write a coherent response to an incoherent letter but all I end up doing is banging on a keyboard and snapping at my loved ones. This letter can be popped with one simple fact.
THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT PAYING FOR BIRTH CONTROL

It requires the insurance company, the one you pay into, to cover it. Not your religious employer. Not the hard-working taxpayer who loves complaining about birth control just as much as they love complaining about people who aren’t like them having too many kids.

THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT PAYING FOR BIRTH CONTROL

And further, I’d like to point out that if this violates your employer’s religious liberties, so does everything you do with the wages you earn that s/he doesn’t approve of. Because your insurance is compensation for the work you do.

THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT PAYING FOR BIRTH CONTROL

And with that fact, Kay’s letter pops and collapses in a flaccid, wrinkled heap of rubber and nonsense.

THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT PAYING FOR BIRTH CONTROL

Although it should, goddammit.

07
Sep
11

Joplin Globe Madness: Rita Crowell’s Amazing Tennis Ball Trick

20110908-085716.jpg

image c/o Rawhead in the comments

 

Man, ever since the tornado, there hasn’t been much silliness in the Voices section. It’s become a chore to read, honestly. We got somebody thanking folks for helping clean up after the tornado, we got someone fretting about the economy, we got Rita Crowell complaining about sacrilegious tennis balls, we got a old fellow complaining about wait a minute what was that?

Tennis balls make Jesus cry?

There was an article in The Joplin Globe this past month regarding a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls in a fanciful manner into her own paintings of classical art.

I would strongly urge her, and anyone else, not to insert anything to destroy or distort the integrity of any Christian religious painting.

To me, this is sacrilegious, irreverent and makes a mockery of God our creator, sustainer and redeemer.

You think that’s bad, you obviously haven’t seen what this lady does with ping pong balls.



																
16
Aug
11

Missouri’s Torture Camp for Young Girls

I had thought I had become completely jaded when it came to American Christianity’s ever-flowing haterade for women and children. Money-wasting, unconstitutional abortion restrictions? Saw them coming. Conscience clauses? Old hat.

But this one took me aback. Mainly because it takes place 35 miles from my house.

Welcome to New Beginnings Girls Academy.

New Beginnings describes itself as a character-building facility for “troubled teens,” and what Jeannie Marie heard in church that day was that this might be a place for her daughter to heal. While jogging earlier that year, the 17-year-old (whom I’ll call Roxy) had been pulled into a vehicle and assaulted by a group of men. Since then, she had begun acting up at home, as well as sneaking out and drinking. Two weeks after seeing the girls in church, Jeannie Marie and her husband left Roxy in McNamara’s care with the promise that she would receive counseling twice a week and stay at New Beginnings no longer than two months. “It sounded like a discipleship program,” Jeannie Marie recalls. “A safe place where a daughter can go to have time alone to find God and her direction.”

What would Jesus do with a troubled rape victim? How about cutting them off from family and breaking them! That ought to do it.

She was monitored day and night by two “buddies,” girls who’d been there awhile and knew the drill. They accompanied her to the shower and toilet, and introduced her to a life of communal isolation and rigid discipline. Girls were not allowed to converse except from 6 to 9 p.m. each Friday. They were not allowed contact with their families during their first month, or with anyone else for six months. By that time, Roxy said, most girls are “broken,” having been told that their families have abandoned them, and that the world outside is a sinful, dangerous place where girls who leave are murdered or raped.

It goes on. Force feeding, isolation chambers, oh how it goes on. And it’s all legal! Yay faith-based exemptions! After I posted this on Facebook, I’ve heard more tales of this place. And I’m frothing with white hot rage.

How long are we going to let people hurt children under the banner of faith?

EDIT: Survivors of NBGA have started a site here.

08
Mar
11

Rock Me Sexy Jesus

Except for Ignite, maybe. You should totally buy this shirt, btw!*

So apparently there’s a wee Joplin church that decided to cut human sexuality a little slack in its ad campaign for its joyless anti-sex religion. This has aggravated normal practitioners of the joyless anti-sex religion, who have the impression that an ideal world is a world of sexless neuters and stupid kids.

“People bring their kids to Sonic and their kids are going to look at that sign and say, ‘Mommy what’s that mean?’ and, oh my God, and then that parent has to explain,” Warren said.

Oh no, you’ll have to explain something to your kids! How could this church rob your delusion that keeping reality from your child for as long as possible is a good thing and that kids won’thear about sex from other kids before they even reach kindergarten children of their innocence? What’s next? Condom commercials during our gory police procedural shows?

Seriously, if you don’t want to explain sex to your kids, here’s a suggestion. Get a cat, get it fixed, and don’t have kids until you grow a pair. (“A pair of what, Mommy?” OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE)

A hearty huzzah to Ignite for taking the first baby step towards having a healthy attitude towards sex. Isn’t it sad, though, that I’m giving a cookie to someone for merely acknowledging that sex exists and isn’t an evil, dirty thing?

Then I remember that this is a region where people freak out over National Geographic.**

* This shirt is available here.
**Holy crap, have you seen this month’s issue? They have an article on domesticated foxes. No word on naked people, but I can’t wait to buy it nonetheless.
28
Jan
11

JGM: Knights?

Okay, okay, I know that the Theory of Rita-tivity implies that Gary L. Stewart’s letter can be immediately discounted due to agreeing with Rita Crowell. Still.

Talk show host Chuck Bates declared that the present statistic of daily abortions is 4,000. If this is true, it’s so sad.

Talk show hosts are always reliable! Does anyone know how to say “talk show host” in Latin? In the meantime I will dub this fallacy argumentum ad Mauryeum.

Also, everyone, please understand, if Congress does not repeal the health care bill, billions of dollars taken from us will be given to Planned Parenthood to pay for even more innocent lives to end. Innocent blood sacrificed to the god of Mammon or to the evil people who seem to hate human beings for whatever reason.

I know I beat this into the ground, but do anti-choicers ever freakin’ listen to themselves? Jeez.

Last November we put 80 more knights of good in place to defend our children and grandchildren. There is more hope for them than before.

About your “knights of good”…

– They’re OK with your children and granchildren being forced into marriage.

– They’re OK with your children and grandchildren being raped- as long as it’s not by force.

With this legislation, which was introduced last week by Rep. Chris Smith (R-N.J.), Republicans propose that the rape exemption be limited to “forcible rape.” This would rule out federal assistance for abortions in many rape cases, including instances of statutory rape, many of which are non-forcible.

–They’re OK with your children and grandchildren dying of back alley abortions because they can’t access safe, legal ones. Like in Pennsylvania, which has a crazy amount of restrictions.

– They’re OK with your children and grandchildren dying in wars, dying because of a lack of health care, being poisoned by industiral pollution, exploited by corporations, and so on and so on…

Your knights will not only not defend your children and grandchildren after they are born, they will wage war against them.

16
Jan
11

Nobody’s Taking Your N-Word Away

So! I heard there’s this new version of Huck Finn that says “slave” instead of “nigger”. I have heard this several godzillion times. As have you. This story seems to sting America more than a congresswoman getting a bullet in the brain.

Disclaimer: I, too, think it’s stupid. So do the vast majority of people, including most non-stupid people.

How do you differentiate between the stupid and non-stupid? Easy. The stupid ones bring up rap music.

Facebook! Help me out!

Not depicted: Jello puddin' pops

Or, they think that all future copies of the book will be edited, and current copies burned en masse by order of the Ministry of Literature.

Also, rap!

Or…I don’t even know what the hell this is.

I censored this lady's name. You will never know the historical context and your education will suffer as a result. Political correctness gone wild!

Either this woman is perpetrating the most slapdash retcon ever, or she’s somehow thinking of the word “raptor.” Your knowledge of Latin is only impressive if you get your terms right, hun.

Ah, remember the time when the Globe’s Facebook page was a lot less insufferable than comments on the Globe site itself? I blame you, intelligent tech-savvy youth, for teaching your dumb relatives how to set up Facebook accounts.

Anyway! Let’s tackle the censorship angle, shall we? It’s true, censoring the word is stupid and prudish. However, only one publisher is doing this. If you want the uncensored version, your limited options are every other publisher of the book. The one world government isn’t pulling a George Lucas and annihilating the original version. It’s an option for people who can’t handle “nigger” in a historical context. Stop making up stories about PC Police. In fact, the only calls for one version being banned completely seems to be coming from our side, from those who don’t understand that our version is not being completely replaced by the other version.

Now to the rap music part…why am I even dignifying this with a rebuttal? I could bring up privilege, reclamation, intent, all that to the white people who just have a bug up their arse about black people and wouldn’t want to hear the facts anyway. That’s all unnecessary, however.

We have established that the new Huck Finn is merely a censored alternative to the original, correct? So for this to be a double standard, it would have to be impossible for record companies to release censored versions of songs that normally have objectionable language. If you’re like me and have been burned by purchasing a “clean” CD at Wal-Mart (or worse, was exposed to Kidz Bop), you know this is not the case.

Sorry folks, but your demands for the scary black music to be neutered in retaliation are completely toothless. Tipper Gore already gave you Parental Advisory stickers, what more do you want?




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