Some of you are familiar with my old blog, Joplin Globe Madness. If you’re not, it’s my breathtaking masterwork, a revolutionary indictment of postmodern ruralism. Basically I just made fun of a bunch of dumb newspaper letters. I also swore a lot.
I’ve followed the Globe opinion pages since middle school. It was better than coffee at getting my blood riled in the morning, and a heck of a lot funnier than the comics. It wasn’t until my senior year in college, however, that I started committing my opinions to paper. Cyberpaper, I mean. One of them there fancy “blogs” on that there web-ternet.
Joplin Globe Madness was born. It was updated regularly; almost every time a stupid letter reared its head. The vast majority of these were conservative leaning, due to the simple volume of conservative writers and also my own biases. (It’s my blog, sue me.) During the blog’s run I amassed quite the archive of facepalm-worthy missives, and quite a few fans.
This spring I celebrated its one year anniversary, promising many more delights for years to come. I think I quit about a week or so later.
Why, Kaje? Why did you leave us hanging like that? Several reasons, my lovelies:
In the Age of Obama, it didn’t seem as sporting. I probably should have started the blog eight years ago, to ride the ebb and flow of the Reign of Error. Back then, railing against dumkopfs was therapeutic; now it’s like kicking them when they’re down. Of course, now that the Democrats in Congress are exposing their tender undersides in the name of “bipartisanship”, it may not hold as true as it did last November.
It seemed that making fun of conservative Republicans was now redundant. They freak out about government “taking over their Medicare”. They go to Washington to protest government service, and then whine about the crowds on the government maintained public transit they took to get there. They bemoan people “playing the race card” and then accuse Obama of giving money to “inner city pimps” and “welfare queens” in the same breath. They think the president was born in Kenya (or Indonesia or India or anywhere where non-whites reside.) For God’s sake, they call themselves “teabaggers.” “Teabaggers.”
It gets repetitious. You can only read so many “things I don’t understand are socialist” letters before your eyes glaze over.
Real life. Our best scientists are working on eliminating this menace.
All these combined resulted in a blogging hiatus.
But I couldn’t stay away. You know I couldn’t. So here I be, with a new and better blog. I plan on continuing Joplin Globe Madness (Merciful Stark willing) as a feature; but that will be but a mere smidgeon of what’s in store.
I would like to conclude with a lazy movie reference.
“Why don’t we just wait here for a little while… see what happens.”