Everyone, Everywhere is Biased Against Conservatives

I was a little disappointed  last week when I saw the Globe do a few columns on the topic of “bias”.
Bias, as many people are figuring out, is another conservative word for “things we find threatening to our status quo, or don‘t understand”. They have a lot of these words; words like “political correctness”, “socialism” or “Dijon”. It’s like the old urban legend that Inuits have a hundred words for “snow.” As the Inuits of the legend had to deal with many varieties of snow, conservatives have to deal with many threats to their fragile worldview.

Pretty much anything that doesn’t spring from the individual conservative’s own mind is “biased”.  Nothing, not the media, PTA meetings, or even reality itself isn’t soaking with bias. Not even the Bible is safe.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Luckily Conservapedia’s Conservative Bible Project is on the case.

Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations. There are three sources of errors in conveying biblical meaning are, in increasing amount:
·    lack of precision in the original language, such as terms underdeveloped to convey new concepts introduced by Christ
·    lack of precision in modern language
·    translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.
Experts in ancient languages are helpful in reducing the first type of error above, which is a vanishing source of error as scholarship advances understanding. English language linguists are helpful in reducing the second type of error, which also decreases due to an increasing vocabulary. But the third — and largest — source of translation error requires conservative principles to reduce and eliminate.[1]

Okay, so it’s obvious that these folks are mere entitled white dudes with a screw loose. But it must not be that obvious, because we, the supposedly “biased” news media, keep propping these guys up.

A lot of people in the media seem to think that they can talk and grovel their way into the right wingers’ hearts by having features on “bias” or whatever non-troversy the right is hawking this week. Here’s the thing. You don’t quell their disingenuous persecution complex by acknowledging it. If dittoheads were capable of looking at thing objectively, they wouldn’t be dittoheads. All you do is humor them, give them the false impression that they have a point, and empower them to walk over you.

Dittoheads don’t want to be your friend. They are incapable of it, and even if they were, they wouldn’t want to. They function under anxious masculinity and  bully tactics. They’re the guy that goes to a bar just to pick fights, or the kid in school who only wants to disrupt the class. They see you as a combination boogeyman/target practice, and they will never give that up no matter how much you try to accommodate them.


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