Joplin Globe Madness: You Forgot the Part About Thinking.

Apparently when his science teacher tried to explain critical thinking, Ken Carter only heard the “don’t believe…” part and ignored the rest, particular the evidence and the thinking parts. Or maybe he just had a basketball coach for a science teacher that didn’t know what he was doing. In any case, Mr. Carter is now under the impression that “critical thinking” means “making stuff up.”

Did only some 60,000 people show up at your “Obama has a Hitler mustache he covers with makeup” picnic event? Ken Carter thinks critically…now it’s a million. Boom!

Are your numbers a mere quarter of the populace, and dropping every day? Ken Carter thinks critically…now he’s in charge. The other three quarters have been reduced to “those people.” Bada bing!

Is your 25%-and-dropping not only pathetically outgunned in numbers, but in brains and class? Ken Carter thinks critically…everyone is just green that they didn’t think of “teabaggers” first. All the other kids pick on you because they’re jealous! Bam! Bam! You take it from here, Emeril! BAM!

The only people who work real jobs are teabaggers. People whose lives revolve around education are stupid, and being “over educated” is a bad thing. If Ken Carter shuts   his eyes and wishes real hard,  an over-muscled unicorn with flaming eyes and a star-spangled coat will whisk him to Pakistan and he’ll catch Osama bin Laden with his bare hands.

Man, I love Ken’s “critical thinking”. Who knew it was so easy?


2 Responses to “Joplin Globe Madness: You Forgot the Part About Thinking.”

  1. 1 Juan
    October 31, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Standing ovation !!!

  2. 2 Duane Graham
    October 31, 2009 at 10:12 pm


    Mr. Carter, eerily, left us a clue as to how serious he is about his crusade:

    This effort will require no less than what the Founders committed to the struggle for the republic: our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

    Apparently he received Thomas Sowell’s oblique message the other day:

    How far the president will go depends, of course, on how much resistance he meets.


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