06
Apr
10

Some Schadenfreude for Ya

NEVER! FORGET!

If you’re like most people with a conscience, you were probably rendered speechless by the actions of Constance McMillen’s classmates and school.

If you haven’t heard, a quick recap: Constance, a lesbian student in Fulton, Mississippi, wanted to attend prom in an out fashion like all straight people are entitled to. The school canceled the entire prom rather then have her attend. After legal action, a prom at a country club was arranged. So Constance went to the prom on Friday, and found only seven people (including two mentally disabled students) in attendance.

Turns out most of her classmates, with help from their parents, held the “real” prom somewhere else.

Even if you are familiar with the ridiculous lengths Southern schools go to to avoid dancing with undesirables, it’s still not a story to read in the wee hours of the morning. I saw red. No way was I sleeping now. Relief was necessary.

Luckily, I found a slight bit of schadenfreude for your reading pleasure. At comment number 8 in the top article, “begleg10” stands up for the much maligned school (bolding mine):

I am a senior at IAHS, and I’ve known Constance for the last 6 years. Please hear our side of the story before you decide on our fate.

The party we had in Evergreen (the county neighborhood I live in) is 30 mins away from the school. we rented out the community center, hired vendors, decorated, and our parents ran the security/chaperone staff- but it wasn’t prom. Prom was at the country club where constance and 7 other students were. The reason the senior class boycotted the actual prom was not because we hate gays. We wanted a drama-free gathering to celebrate 3 great years and 1 lousy one together, and we wanted to lay low. We also wanted to do it without the main cause of the lousy. What people are failing to realize is that much of the fault of this whole stink lies with Constance, not her mistreatment by the school district, but her crazy-reckless need for attention. It sounds mean and horrible and like we planned it all specifically to embarrass Constance, but we didn’t. We let her have her prom with her girlfriend and her tuxedo and we went to party it up in the “boondocks” not because we wanted her rights violated, but so we could salvage what has turned into a total fiasco. As a whole we didn’t support her decision to throw the district under the bus, or her insinuations that we’re all just a bunch ‘a hicks driving around in beater pick up trucks spitting tobacco and burning crosses. IAHS is one of the top schools in the state and I’m proud of that, and I’m proud that we took a stand and just said you know what? forget it, we have just as much right as you do to have a party for ourselves. So we did, and now we’re getting flack because poor Connie’s ego got a bit of bruising. She’s playing the lesbian card to prove she ALWAYS gets what she wants. This time, we didn’t just let her.

Take it as you will, because I’m sure it sounds like we faked her out, but understand this- the decision NOT to attend prom had nothing to do with the school or with Constance’s sexual preferences; it had everything to do with proving we weren’t going to let her and the ACLU steamroll us into doing what Constance wanted. We flexed the muscle of the majority and we’ll suffer the consequences.

Thank you for sharing that tale of bravery and integrity. Laying low to avoid drama. You’re a regular Nelson Mandela.

She was so driven to stand up for the strong and uptrodden* that she forgot a few critical rules of thumb. The big one, of course, is “if you try to excuse your glad participation in a cruel, cowardly and much-publicized stunt, don’t use a username that points to your Facebook page. Especially if you plan on a career in journalism. You breathtakingly atrocious idiot.”

Now begleg10, AKA Lindsey Begley, will forever be linked with this event, for the Internet never forgets. Perhaps her journalism dreams can still be salvaged; maybe Fox News will give her a show, if she plays her cards right. Cash in on the wingnut welfare girlfriend!

She’s not the only brilliant bird either. Many other promgoers also have Facebook profiles and other Internet droppings, complete with captions of mocking laughter, brave statements of defiance to the gay hoard of one and her mentally disabled cronies, and photos of hideous prom dresses. They’ve even set up a whole group called Constance, Quit Yer Cryin’, which has apparently already backfired.

Welcome to the 21st century, Itawamba High! Have you been acquainted with the Internet Archive? Believe you me, I would love to pretend that I never made a Gilbert Gottfried fansite on Tripod’s free website service when I was in middle school. But I can’t, because the Internet never forgets. Luckily, Gilbert Gottfried appreciation isn’t likely to result in rejected college applications or being passed over for jobs.

I’d love for mindless status quotians** like Lindsey to put down their arms and live in mutual respect with us undesirables. But if that’s not feasible, I’ll be happy to aid in their fall and ostracism if they set themselves up for it. Maybe you need to stop playing the entitled victim-blaming twit card to get what you want.

* I am 99 percent certain this is not a word.
* This may not be a word, but if it’s good enough for Shakesville it’s good enough for me.
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16 Responses to “Some Schadenfreude for Ya”


  1. 1 Scooter McGee
    April 6, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    A quick google search found good ol’ Lindsey Begley’s twitter page. For someone who has nothing against Teh Gay, she posted this: “Buses are great. Gay friends are great. When gay friend goes to sleep on you on a bus? Not so great :)”

  2. April 6, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    Yeah! And the internet will also remember how you really stuck it to a high school kid! WTG!

    • April 6, 2010 at 11:51 pm

      Yep! It sure will remember my “smack down” of this rather complacent abettor of bullying who’s not much younger than me. Same with all the other blog authors who covered the story.

      I don’t know if you noticed, but with every publicized bullying incident, more and more people are catching on to the fact that “oh they’re just kids, they’re going to pick on each other” isn’t cutting the mustard anymore. Besides, these aren’t 6 year olds, or even hormone addled 14-16 year olds. Most of them are seniors in their late teens who should know better by now.

      Also, you do know my full name is on this site, right? I stand by my comments. I, Karley Johnston, do say that conducting a newsmaking Carrie-level bully tactic like holding a fake prom to exclude one student, and then BRAGGING about it on Facebook, is breathtakingly dumb and cruel.

  3. 5 MW
    April 7, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Courtney McMullen and Lee McMullen should also be mentioned, who say this on facebook:

    “LeeandCourtney McMullen: no whats funny is that this bitch has gotten the whole world involved in are small town drama. if the faggot had never came to school there this would have never happened in the first place. we are in the bible belt and 9 out of 10 people here dont like faggots and carpent munchers and about the interracial comments it happen but i just look over it. the bible tells us not to mix and that homosexuality is a sin that will have you condemned to an everlasting fire called hell. not no hell no constance”

    It’s at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=mf&gid=361015830355 as a reply to one of the oldest posts available.

    • April 8, 2010 at 4:00 am

      Most of the kids involved are being outed all over the place. Here’s a list, complete with screencap evidence.

      http://itawambabigots.tumblr.com/

      According to these students, Constance is the most convincing and manipulative person in the world. Every interview I’ve come across, she seems a completely gracious person. On the flipside, every single comment from the opposition is near indescribable in its unpleasantness. I’m grasping for an analogy–it’s like getting repeatedly whacked in the head with a waterlogged, maggot-infested sea otter carcass.

  4. April 7, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    While this whole situation could have been a chance for parents to teach their children how to get along with people who are different from themselves, whether it’s gay, black, purple, Muslim or Christian, these parents instead funded the event that made a mockery of the whole process. Shame on them, is what I say.

  5. April 8, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    I have followed this story from the beginning… a whole lot of xian love in that town… NOT!!!

  6. 9 ansonburlingame
    April 9, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Kaje,

    Obviously you hit a nerve here. Interesting comments and rebutall, all associated with Gay Rights fundamentally it seems. Just how far do such rights extend seems to be the issue. To me Freedom of Speech initially must prevail. To a degree freedom of “expression” should do so as well though the constitutionality of such is questionable.

    Speaking and to some degree dressing in support of or against homosexual conduct is to be condoned and respected whether you agree or not. No nudity please as that is against the law. I doubt that a woman wearing a tux falls into that category however as long as the “tux” covered certain areas of the body.

    But the question then arises when ACTIONS come into play. For example if someone spit on the lesbian girl because of her atire it would be wrong in my view. If the lesbian girl gave an objector to her “costume” the finger she would be at least starting to cross the line, again in my view.

    Here is an intersting situation (to me) that I heard about. A young man is gay and dresses in school to show it. No, he does not wear a dress or have his (long) hair in a bun. BUT he does wear makeup including lipstick, etc. He also “walks with a twitch to his hips” (exagerated), uses the “limp wrist” to make verbal points, etc. In other words he “broadcasts” his homosexuality in words and manner.

    For me no real problem thus far, even in a public school. Some make fun of him without bullying that could be seen and others supported him both sides doing so without actions for or against or extremes of verbal abuse or support.

    HOWEVER, by any standard of conduct for kids of any sexuality, this kid was a full blown, loud mouthed JERK. He would do little or no work in class, constantly challenged the teacher, interrupted the class with “antics” etc. He acted as a polar opposite of a “red neck” waving a “noose” or chewing tobacco.

    The teacher reprimanded the young man, changed his seat assignment and “demanded” that he stop interrupting the class and do his work. What was the young man’s response?

    “YOU’ER PICKING ON ME BECAUSE I AM GAY”!

    Now Kaje, how would you as a teacher handle that situation?

    Anson

    • April 9, 2010 at 6:27 pm

      I would handle the situation by saying “no, it’s not because you’re gay, it’s because you’re being a jerk”. Your hypothetical question isn’t that hard. It also has pretty much nothing to do with anything.

      Also, I can’t help but wonder, is the boy in your hypothetical Lawrence King? He was the first thing that came to mind when I read it- an openly gay boy who most people claimed was “attention seeking”, “obnoxious,” etc. He did not deserve to get his brains blown out with a shotgun while in computer lab, though.

      How are the secret prom kid’s rights being violated? The secret prom, the Facebook posts they wrote, the anti-Constance t-shirts they made are all legal (assuming the secret prom was a private event not funded by the school, which some suspect isn’t the case). Likewise, we have a right to call them out for being jerks, or refuse to associate with them if we run a private institution or enterprise. Criticism does not equal violation of rights.

      • 11 ansonburlingame
        April 10, 2010 at 3:52 pm

        Kaje,

        As I understand the story, the teacher did exactly that and the young man remained a problem student. I have no idea the students name by the way but I also understand the story happened “right here in River City”. As far as I know there has been no violence or bullying of that student and I have no idea how he acts today.

        I am only trying to make the point that some kids use various tactics to gain attention or excuse their disruptive behavior. They can “claim” disability with no medical evidence of such, homosexuality, attention defecite disorder without substantiation, “illness”, you name it. I am sure you saw it in your schoold days as well.

        When such misbehavior is defended by the student as a “protected” disorder, whether real or not, teachers have a real challenge on their hands. Some, the lazy ones with limited or no standards other than “getting through another day” simply allow the behavior to prevail and avoid the inevitable confrontation with the student or parents.

        “Bad” (by reasonable definitions) kids have every excuse in the world for their bad behavior. How to sort the wheat from the chaff is a public challenge. Do you really KNOW for a fact that your example in this blog was a “good” kid doing what was her “right” or the other sort. The evidence either way seems lacking, at least to me.

        I would have to know a lot more background on the girl involved (the lesbian) and/or the students and parents opposing her. Your blog is a snapshot only, not the whole story, again in my view. I consider that an “openminded” approach, not homophobic in any way. There are always two sides of most stories.

        Anson

      • April 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm

        The evidence is especially lacking if you don’t bother to look at it or think about it.

        We have approximatly 2.5 epic butt-tons of direct evidence, in the form of the students’ internet posts and screencaps, of the secret prom students making inflammatory statements, and then backpedaling, contradicting their fellow students and even themselves. In the original firedoglake thread, one student said it was set up to exclude “the main cause of the lousy”. In the same thread, another student said everyone was invited to the Evergreen prom and Constance lied about not knowing about it. One student at joemygod said it wasn’t a prom at all, rather a birthday party! Pretty much nothing they say holds any water.

        Neverminding the student’s postings; the ACLU looked into the original incident, and came to the conclusion that they had a case to take. The judge looked at the evidence and agreed, there was discrimination going on. I have trouble believing that both a pro legal org with constant requests for representation and a judge were so dense to do those things if there was considerable doubt that she was “crying wolf” or if the board canceled the prom for a non-bigoted reason.

        I know from high school that individual kids can make drama; but I also know from high school that 99.9% of the student body can go to ridiculous lengths of conspiracy to bully just one kid, and that the school boards and parents just aid and abet.

      • 13 ansonburlingame
        April 11, 2010 at 6:02 pm

        Kaje,

        You are correct that I did not read the online material other than your blog. I stand corrected.

        In closing this debate I make only one more comment. You said “individual kids can make drama” I would go so far as to say that ALL kids make drama.

        The question becomes when does “drama” turn into outrageous behavior. If you think 99% bully other kids and by bullying you mean the above in your blog, I would further say that is an outrageous statement. If you mean most kids “pick on” other kids from time to time, I would agree with the figure expressed. As to the percentage that behave in an “outrageous” manner, my guess is that it is much greater than the % you gave for “bullying? Why? Because bullying itself is outrageous and there are many other forms of outrageous behavior.

        Anson

      • April 13, 2010 at 4:41 pm

        Bullying is in the same league as being a drama queen? Does not compute.

  7. 15 Calvin and Luther Will Kick Your Atheist Behind
    April 11, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    Anson, I understand exactly what you are saying, BUT:

    Something has definitely changed in our culture in the past 20 years or so. I have a 24 year old daughter and a son who is 17. My daughter was bullied in a school from about 2nd grade to 4th grade. Luckily for her we moved and she began 5th grade in a new school and things were much better.

    Not so for my son. I had to pull him out of school in the middle of his 7th grade year. We now home school and have for 4 years. He doesn’t talk to these kids who bullied him. He doesn’t call them, doesn’t email them, nothing. And yet, they still seem obsessed in making him miserable when they can. I just learned yesterday that some of them were talking at the school about coming into our yard at night and tearing things up. WHY? He never even sees these kids.

    It is true that we have ALWAYS had bullies. What is DIFFERENT is that it used to eventually stop. Now it continues indefinitely. (The girl in Massachusetts who committed suicide for example) If we had not moved my daughter would have suffered until her graduation day. If I had not pulled my son out it would have continued until his graduation day. Sometimes it continues until a kid commits suicide.

    I suppose you could think that there must be something wrong with my family, both of my kids having been bullied could suggest to you that we are messed up and must have brought it on ourselves.

    I think we did bring it on ourselves in that I had taught both of my kids to never treat anyone in a demeaning or cruel way and to not participate in that behavior. So, they did not fit in, and then became targets for it themselves. It is the norm to bully now in US schools if you want to be in the “in crowd”.

    My daughter skipped her senior year, went on to college and now has a masters degree. I am hopeful that my son will follow in her footsteps. They didn’t deserve to be bullied. No one does.

    OUR CULTURE IS SICK


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