21
Jun
10

Break Out the Sham-Paggin

Little toy Zapp Brannigan

Oooga chaka.

You’re all familiar with the biological clock. Supposedly there’s a little alarm clock in a woman’s body (situated betwixt the soul gland and the good smell bladder, if I recall) that goes off when she reaches her late thirties, triggering auditory and visual hallucinations of dancing CGI babies. So says my source for all my medical information, Dr. Dumpyfat Sitcomman.

I’m going through something similar right now. Except I’m 24, and instead of babies I can’t stop thinking about Futurama.

Seriously, I find myself correcting people by yelling “[insert plural noun here] DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!”   The word “Jurassic,” a word which usually fills my heart with joy, reminds me of that stupid episode with the dog and makes me sad. I’m tempted to do my feminist whinging in truncated Amazon speak- we no can dunk, but good fundamentals! At night my dreams are haunted by a shadowy figure, accompanied by the aura of legend and the overpowering stink of velour. All this is reaching a crescendo as the brand new season rapidly approaches.

You did know Comedy Central was making new episodes, right?

Anyway! Let’s all wallow in our sick hallucinations together until Thursday finally arrives! How about we share our favorite Futurama quotes?

Zapp: You want the rest of the shampaggin?

Leela: No. And it’s pronounced ‘champagne

Zapp: OH GOD NOOOOOO!
…Comedy Central, you had better not drop the ball on this. My various glands and bladders and meat clocks won’t be able to handle it.
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9 Responses to “Break Out the Sham-Paggin”


  1. 1 Whitney B. Fair
    June 21, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    “And that’s how I got my new shell. It looks just like the shell I threw out yesterday and I found it in the same dumpster, but this one had a live raccoon inside.”

    Me want snoo-snoo, me want snoo-snoo now!

    …I am still thinking……

  2. 2 Rawhead
    June 26, 2010 at 4:39 am

    Well… you’re eerily quiet… did the new Futurama not live up to your expectations?

    I thought the first one was ok but the second one not so much.


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