September 12 is Burn the Confederate Flag Day!

What a bummer summer, eh? It’s super-hot, no jobs can be found, the Joplin Honkies keep squeaking pitifully for the street cred they can never have, the illusion that there’s much difference between the two parties has been resoundingly squished, and my Zazzle store could use some more customers.

The people are desperate for a pick-me-up. Pick-you-up. Pick-us-up. Whatever, we need one.

Well, brace yourself- September 12th is now Burn the Confederate Flag Day.


Burn the Confederate Flag Day is a protest against the right’s exploitation of racial prejudice for political gain.  We urge you to burn the Confederate flag, a long-time symbol of racial hatred, on Sept 12, the date when the racially-divisive Tea Party holds its annual hate fest.

Are you still standing, or were you bowled over by the sheer win?

One of my life goals is to create a nationwide holiday of a sort, specifically a Guy Fawkes parallel for America. Naturally, when I heard about this, I was swept in a tidal wave of jealousy for not thinking it up first. Seriously, it’s the perfect holiday- it’s patriotic, it involves pyrotechnics, and it infuriates racists!

This more than makes up for the other day, when I saw a 9 year old girl wearing this shirt:

I navigated several infuriating white power sites to find this for you. You're welcome.

Oh man, if my schedule’s good, I am sooooo going to organize one of these in Joplin. Stay tuned. In the meantime, I await the indignant bwap bwap bwap of “STATE’S RIGHTS! NOT RACIST! HERITAGE! NORTHERN AGGRESSION!” and other such idiocies.


15 Responses to “September 12 is Burn the Confederate Flag Day!”

  1. 1 Calvinist of the Ozarks
    August 15, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    The people who live a few doors down from me have a big confederate flag hanging on their front porch. Maybe you could knock on their door and ask them if they would be willing to donate their flag to your cause? I’ll let you knock and ask, I’ll wait and watch a block or so away.

    • August 16, 2010 at 3:22 am

      I’ll just say I need some old stars-and-bars for a Civil War themed barbeque. Which is technically true.

      And I’ll wear a “smart ass white girl” t-shirt for extra credibility/irony points.

  2. August 17, 2010 at 6:21 am

    You know, there are many proud southerners who love that flag and are not racist, like me. Dont let the KKK and Nazis who wrongfully use the Confederate flag make you think it is racist. Its true meaning has been distorted by these hate groups.

    • August 17, 2010 at 3:30 pm

      I’ve lived here all my life, in the immediate vicinity of overt racists and less overt Dixie flag humpers. I know exactly how disingenuous that argument is, and how full of crap you are. To assert this requires a near perverse level of historical revisionism, or ignorance.

      Even if we turned off our brains and accepted your claim that the Confederate flag cult isn’t rooted in racism, it’s still undeniably a symbol of treason. Judging by your Youtube page, that’s part of it’s appeal to you. Knock yourself out. I prefer to identify as American, and express proper disdain for a traitorous faction. You can have a Burn an American Flag Day, and invite all your totes-not-racist friends, if you so wish.

      • August 18, 2010 at 4:43 am

        It might be a different story if the civil war had been over gay rights instead of slavery, right Kaje? Hehe.

      • August 18, 2010 at 5:21 am

        It’s 12:00, and I’m too sleepy to get it. Explain please?

      • August 18, 2010 at 5:42 am

        Oh wow. Please tell me that video wasn’t yours? I lasted until the “I’m a Confederate American” sticker, then my poor lobes begged for mercy.

        “I’m a Confederate American?” That’s the ultimate oxymoron. You might as well say you’re a carnivorous vegan.

  3. 8 Rawhead
    August 18, 2010 at 6:21 am

    Haha I’m just bustin’ balls as usual. Nah that’s not mine. Hoyt Axton from the 60s probably. I remembered it when I saw Levi Stroud’s site and thought it appropriate.

    I disagree with your claim that the flag ‘cult’ is ‘rooted in racism.’ I think for a lot of them it’s more about rebellion than racism. Does rebellion = treason? I guess it depends on how far you take it. Rebellion is certainly not always ‘bad.’ It’s interesting to see the ‘states rights’ issue that was a key part of the division leading up to the civil war has once again reared its head. Rather than slavery as the underlying issue, we have the “health care bill” and “gun rights” as the bigger of the many issues today. I kinda doubt it will go anywhere though.

    • August 18, 2010 at 3:06 pm

      I think for a lot of them it’s more about rebellion than racism. Does rebellion = treason? I guess it depends on how far you take it. Rebellion is certainly not always ‘bad.’

      Well, if one’s way of rebelling is seceding, then yeah, it’s treason by definition. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the Confederacy’s willingness to secede from the country to keep blacks enslaved is the “bad” kind of rebellion. In which case, might I recommend to any wannabe rebels*, investing in a nose ring and a custom chopper?

      If this person’s rebellion isn’t rooted in racism, then it’s rooted in ignorance. At the risk of violating Godwin’s law, it really is like a German youth wearing a Nazi swastika and saying it has nothing to do with bigotry. Woeful negligence of the facts is required.

      *Not referring to you specifically. Maybe Levi.

      It’s interesting to see the ‘states rights’ issue that was a key part of the division leading up to the civil war has once again reared its head.

      “State’s rights,” I imagine, is the dictionary example of a “dog whistle.” It’s always served as a PC term for “evil things we want to do that we know we couldn’t get away with under federal scrutiny.”

      I doubt we’ll have a Civil War again, because save for a few weekend militias (and maybe gangs), the vast majority of the populace is simply unprepared for armed combat. Our infrastructure will probably have to collapse before we revert to a society likely to take up arms. Actually, the way modern warfare works, if the South did rise again *rebel yell* we could probably vaporize most of them in a span of a month. Militias can’t really get their hands on predator drones, after all.

  4. September 27, 2010 at 2:22 am

    You all seem to be looking at this from a school text book point of view. Someone yells racism, and everyone blows their tops. Most people seem to forget that the United States flag flew over every slave ship. The Confederate flag never did, because slave trade was outlawed in the Confederate Constitution. The Union flag flew over slavery for almost 100 years… the cofederate flag, only 4. Also, people seem to forget that Lincoln specifacally said that the war was not over slavery… even that is pointed out in the government altered school textbooks. And lets not forget the countless indian raids under the Stars and Stripes. The bottom line is, the Union had just as much to do with slavery as the south. and, the Union even benifited more than the south from slavery. Cotton was shiped north, and it was northern companies that sold the cotton products. Thats when Lincoln put a HUGE tax on cotton, which harmed the souths economy, and was one of the many reasons for secession.

    Also, if your gona call the south traitors for seceding, perhaps you should look at America… did we not secede from Britain? Is America not a traitor as a whole? Secession is a legit way to nullify tyranny, and is not betraying to the original country. Were it not for secession, you would not live in the United States today, you would live in Britain.

    Perhaps you should all look at Americas faults before pointing fingers at the Confederacy and the south.

    P.S. the flag you are all burning is not even the confederate flag, it is the battle flag. it was only used to lead troops. it never flew over a Confederate government building.

    • September 28, 2010 at 1:26 am

      Let’s see…we have textbook conspiracies, missing the point about secession, “the Union did it first”, and “that’s just the battle flag, you big dopes”.

      All I need is “the NAACP is just as racist as the KKK” and I’ll have a Confederate flag apologist’s bingo.

  5. May 1, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    Way to drop Verbal Judo on ‘Ol Ronnie Redneck r.k.a. Levi Stroud. That man has got to be as ignorant as they come. Kajed Heat, you never relent, like a Slayer Record, man. I’d suggest to him to read a book. But then again, he wouldn’t comprehend the girth of what he reads, to begin with. It’s sad, these days, that this is how America is turning to be: ignorant, bigoted, and dumb. I thank George W. Dumbshit for inciting mass-ignorance upon the American society. What next?
    As Frank Zappa (on whom I do not subcribe to his politics, but his are priceless..read on) has readily commented on this such issue (ignorance). Here goes:”Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.” and “The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”

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