Archive for March 8th, 2011


Rock Me Sexy Jesus

Except for Ignite, maybe. You should totally buy this shirt, btw!*

So apparently there’s a wee Joplin church that decided to cut human sexuality a little slack in its ad campaign for its joyless anti-sex religion. This has aggravated normal practitioners of the joyless anti-sex religion, who have the impression that an ideal world is a world of sexless neuters and stupid kids.

“People bring their kids to Sonic and their kids are going to look at that sign and say, ‘Mommy what’s that mean?’ and, oh my God, and then that parent has to explain,” Warren said.

Oh no, you’ll have to explain something to your kids! How could this church rob your delusion that keeping reality from your child for as long as possible is a good thing and that kids won’thear about sex from other kids before they even reach kindergarten children of their innocence? What’s next? Condom commercials during our gory police procedural shows?

Seriously, if you don’t want to explain sex to your kids, here’s a suggestion. Get a cat, get it fixed, and don’t have kids until you grow a pair. (“A pair of what, Mommy?” OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE)

A hearty huzzah to Ignite for taking the first baby step towards having a healthy attitude towards sex. Isn’t it sad, though, that I’m giving a cookie to someone for merely acknowledging that sex exists and isn’t an evil, dirty thing?

Then I remember that this is a region where people freak out over National Geographic.**

* This shirt is available here.
**Holy crap, have you seen this month’s issue? They have an article on domesticated foxes. No word on naked people, but I can’t wait to buy it nonetheless.

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March 2011
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