01
Apr
11

Santa: The Trojan Horse in the War on Christmas

You know who else was red? STALIN.

Why am I blogging about Christmas in spring? One reason, because other news around here is too damn depressing (Man, Nevada, you suck). Two, I never get tired of blogging about conservative freakouts.

Christian conservatives warn America of a War on Christmas, under the impression that deemphasizing Santa and his reindeer is secular subterfuge. However, a new poll (c/o the Wisconsin Daily Mirror) suggests that giving Santa the boot may be a boon to curbing the rising atheist population.

The group asked atheists, agnostics, secular humanists and other non-believers to name a catalyst to their deconversion. The number one answer by about 48%? Finding out the truth about Santa Claus. OH SNAP:

When asked about their lack of belief, many atheists and agnostics point to a perceived lack of evidence, corruption in organized religion, or the seeming indifference of the universe. However, when asked to name a specific life event that led them down this path, nearly half pointed not to the man on the cross, but to the man on the rooftop.

According to a survey conducted by PEW Research, when asked what one event they could contribute to their atheism, a whopping 48% cited finding out the truth about Santa Claus as the catalyst.

It must be because atheists are so materialistic, right? Well, not really. Take it away Dr. Pazzo:

“It’s a true case of a slippery slope,” says PEW researcher Dr. April Pazzo. “Their parents raise them to have faith in a magical, kindly figure, a faith which is inevitably betrayed. When these same parents ask them to believe in a loving, miraculous figure, it’s more difficult to believe.”

It looks like the religious are already scrambling for excuses and solutions. The guy they quote in the article says that obviously, Santa has to go. Good luck with that (edit mine).

According to [Father Pabo Sah Woor], “People need to remember who we celebrate Christmas for. It’s not about gifts, reindeer and family. When you take Christ out of Christmas, you start taking Christ out of your life.”

One of those things is not like the other, Pops. Have fun telling people to quit using one of the best traditional aspects of the holiday.

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6 Responses to “Santa: The Trojan Horse in the War on Christmas”


  1. April 1, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    Now just a darn minute, Kaj. Santa is too real! I know because his sleigh was tracked on the weather radar last December 24, so that proves it! Besides, I also heard it on KZRG.

  2. April 1, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    So, this ‘Kaje’ person (who doesn’t trust us with his real name) believes any poll that he reads. By ‘any’ poll, I mean polls that reinforce his preconceptions – despite the apparent lack of belief in Immaculate Conception, either. Who could believe in something as incredible as Virgin Birth when something witnessed by millions of people is denied. I am one of those who can verify that Santa is not merely real, but also that he engages in those activities most well-known about him. When I was 6, Mother didn’t know that I stayed awake on Christmas Eve – and I saw Santa delivering our presents. Kaje, put that in your bogus poll and smoke it – and keep snoking it until next April 1st.

  3. April 2, 2011 at 2:12 am

    When I was a kid, I snuck outside one Christmas Eve, full of awe and wonder, only to be traumatized by the sight of Santa DEFILING Rudolph in unspeakable ways. Right on my roof!

    I converted to worshipping the Easter Bunny right then and there, even though he brings stupid stuff like marshmallow peeps and jelly beans.

  4. 5 Calvin and Luther Can Kick Your Atheist Behind.
    April 3, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe. … And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” (John 6:63-65)

    Santa had absolutely NOTHING to do with their unbelief.

    NO ONE BELIEVES UNLESS IT IS GRANTED BY GOD.

  5. 6 Calvin and Luther Can Kick Your Atheist Behind.
    April 3, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    P.S. My kids loved Santa.


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