17
Nov
12

Joplin Globe Madness: I Don’t Remember Any Donkeys In Jurassic Park

I’m going to try doing a weekly Joplin Globe Madness from now one, in an  effort to generate content for this blog. Check out this week’s samplings:

I don’t remember any donkeys in Jurassic Park. But Steve Gobel does, apparently. I love this man’s letters; they make me look forward to senility. Behold, an excerpt from “the Phoenix”:

They had not heard the call from Rush, Mark and Sean directly. They were alerted by Republican politicians who hearkened to the unbending, unrelenting, Jurassic Park donkey message.

What a sight it was to behold as the phoenix rose from the ashes because of three Jurassic Park donkeys.

It reminds me of how much beauty there is in this world. “Jurassic Park donkeys”. It’s like the world was crafted just for you and I out of stardust and songs.

Meanwhile, Gail Hurlbut, non-trad student and obvious victim of childhood teasing (HURLBUT?!?  Poor thing.) is yet another “independent” voter. You know the type- the voter that definitely is *not* independent but dammit, who wants to label themselves, man? Anyway, she’s all pissed off, not at Akin for saying horrible things about rape, but at the Republicans who felt a twinge in either their vestigial moral sense or in their pocketbooks and pulled their support for him (if only temporarily).

The main mistake for Missouri is that Todd Akin did not lose the election for the Senate because of his statements about rape. He lost the election because Republicans turned their backs on him. No matter how stupid the statements made by Democrats, they stick together. The Republicans did not have enough sense to do that.

It wasn’t Akin’s fault for saying hatefully stupid things! It was the mean ol’ other Republicans. Party of personal responsibility, you guys.

Todd Akin did not lose by many votes, which proves that he could have won the election in Missouri with continued support from the Republican Party. He did not have that support. I respect Mr. Akin for staying in the election and getting the many votes he did get. Many voters in Missouri wanted him to win, and I am one of them. God bless Todd Akin and his family.

Mr. Akin, someone needs to apologize to you.

We respect you, rape apologist and benighted doofus. We’re sorry we couldn’t save you from your own stupid big mouth.

How’s that for an apology?

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