I Have the Right to Not Bear Arms

(Hey! Are you reading this post months after it was published? Well, good news– I crafted it so it can apply to any spree shooting. Just copy and paste this the next time a spree shooting comes along. And there will be a next time. )

With the latest spree shooting, here comes the latest spree victim-blaming from right-wing gun frootloops* and their unwitting enablers.
“Hurp derp, if only those teachers were armed, if only we could conceal and carry in theaters, if only I could whip out my sweet Gun Katta skills and whaled on them, then those people wouldn’t be dead huh huh hurp”.

Never mind whether or not this is true (Mother Jones says it isn’t, but how can you say a spree shooting wasn’t stopped if it was stopped before it became a spree shooting? BRAINPUZZLER). The implication is that we are responsible for our own deaths if we go out of our house without our trenchcoats and semi-autos which we all obviously have had the time and interest and resources to learn to master.

It’s the “if only she was wearing modest clothes, she wouldn’t have been raped” argument. It’s blaming the victim. It’s saying we should go out of our way to appease the unremarkable monsters in our species. Fuck that.

You see, guns don’t frighten me or offend me. They bore the living piss out of me, even moreso than motorcycles and scrapbooking (although less than Christian radio). I resent the notion that I have to augment my life with gun ownership to justify my very existence. And that’s just my indifference talking; imagine people who actually detest them for whatever reason?

I do not carry guns. I won’t carry guns. And I am free to do so. And fuck you for suggesting it’s my fault if someone murders me. I am not going to take time out of my fleeting life to conform to your dumb little club just because you can’t face the harsh reality that if you were in those situations, you won’t be the stoic action hero of your fantasies. You will be panicking and reacting just like those lowly unarmed folk.

It reminds me of the “Freedom of Religion, Not Freedom From Religion” non-argument. I know this will hurt a lot of people’s brains, but the first necessarily implies the other. You have the right to bear arms, likewise, I have the right to not bear arms.

Depicted: Not You

*I have seen gun nuts take pride in the fact that “nuts” is a slang term for testicles, which their anxious masculinity clings to like Peter Jackson clings to slow motion. I WILL DENY THEM EVEN THIS SMALL COMFORT. YOU ARE ALL FROOTLOOPS NOW.

11 Responses to “I Have the Right to Not Bear Arms”

  1. December 17, 2012 at 3:06 am

    The statistics I find tell an interesting story. Given how contentious the issue is, this will not likely change any NRA minds but maybe some others will find it persuasive. I do.

    The United States of course has the loosest gun control laws of all developed countries. In the United States in 2006, 10,225 people were killed by the use of a gun. Suicides in this country use them a lot as well: 17,002 suicides in 2005.

    In 2010 in Germany, with tighter laws, there were only 158 homicides committed with a firearm.

    In the U.K. in 2009 only 18 people were murdered with a firearm.

    In Japan, probably the strictest gun-controlling of all developed countries in the world, in 2006 there were only two homicides. In 2008 there were 11.

    Personally I do not intend to pack heat everywhere I go, and given the behavior I see, road rage included, I sure wish others wouldn’t either.

    • December 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

      Well have fun bitching and whining about it there Jim. Guns are here to stay. The Supreme Court and millions of armed Americans say so and that’s not likely to change in our lifetimes. If you have never been to a large gathering of gun nuts, I suggest you go at least once in your life. You’re within a day trip of the semi-annual Tulsa arms show. I think everyone, gun nut or anti-gun nut should go at least once in their lives. I’m sure such a visit will convince you that the gun culture here is strong and any attempt at a gun-grab by the US government is certain to go horribly wrong. You’ll be better off trying to figure out why people snap and kill each other than how to restrict their access to their chosen tools.

      • December 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm

        Ah, the old “we must protect ourselves from the government” chestnut. This was relevant before August 1945.

        I take small comfort in this fact: You know the really obnoxious, overcompensating gun frootloop that makes all gun owners look bad? The one that wears camo all the time and brags about knowing Crav Magna skills that can kill a man instantly and makes it a Fruedian psychosexual thing whenever someone isn’t properly awed by his refurbished school bus/apocalypse bunker?

        That guy can be evaporated with a button. Him and everyone around him within 500 km. This feat is most likely accomplished because of the strong military he always voted for when he went to the polls.

        This small comfort helps me deal with the fact that we live in a nuclear age and grotesque military spending.

        There’s been a lot of people going up against the government with their personal arsenal in the modern era. How many of those people won? None.

        Ooo! I know! Let’s legalize nuclear weapons for citizens! So what if a few daycare centers get turned into glass? The tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of schoolchildren.

      • December 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm

        Also, I can tell you why the guy shot up the school. It’s the same reason why people will chase a bug down the sidewalk just to squish it. It’s why guys make rape threats to women anonymously. It’s why we mocked the short bus and its occupants as children.

        It’s because going after someone weaker than you is easy and fun for a lot of people.

        Why mass shootings? It’s just a fashionable way to do it right now.

      • December 17, 2012 at 2:59 pm

        There is truth in what you say, Rawhead, and I recognize it. I am not unfamiliar with guns, having qualified as Marksman in the Navy with the .45 pistol and having used the M1 rifle and 30 cal. carbine in training. I also used to go pheasant hunting with my Dad when I was a kid. Guns radiate (potential) power, they command attention and respect from onlookers. I have read the NRA magazine and I know the enthusiasm that sings from every article. It is easy to see that people whose worth is otherwise minimized by society are even more attracted to them than the average person.

        Look, the most I am hoping for in any legislative effort at gun control is some kind of sensible limit on ammunition types, magazine capacities and an assault-rifle ban. That isn’t impossible because we had one before. As for figuring out why people snap, that isn’t going to help much because the lunatic fringe will always be with us whether we understand it or not.

      • December 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm

        Well Jim, the assault weapons ban we had before was completely ineffective since it did not remove already existing weapons and magazines from circulation. It only served to drive the price up in a preview of what will happen if and when stricter gun-control laws are put in place. The crazies still had their military-type weapons and high capacity magazines. The ban also failed to address the fact that a gun that does not look ‘badassed’ can still kill just as well. As can a knife, or sword, or arrow, or car… etc. A well-outfitted gun-nut is equipped to manufacture whatever type of ammunition he sees fit. Hell, some even have their own machine shops and can build whatever on a whim.

        I never suspected you had zero firearms exposure… but plinking at a few targets and being immersed in a sea of gun-nuts are two entirely different experiences. Perhaps you’re a bit more sensible, but some of the liberal-minded folks I’ve conversed with over the years on the subject seem to think that passing a few laws will eliminate guns from the street overnight. You and I know that’s not going to happen and the criminals will certainly retain their arsenals as will many formerly law-abiding gun owners.

        I’m at least somewhat with Kaje though. I support no gun control but still wonder about the sanity of people who feel the need to carry one with them wherever they go. IMHO you’d be better off just taking a bullet or beating rather than being embroiled in something like poor ole George Zimmerman.

      • December 17, 2012 at 8:22 pm

        Nah Kaje, that’s not the chestnut I’m trying to crack here, though I have a friend that still brings that one up on occasion. I don’t expect a lot of people to voluntarily turn over their arsenal to the government if a ban is ever enacted. They’ll have to pick those 300 million guns off the street one at a time and it’s going to take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time.

        Ever watch the National Geographic show “Doomsday Preppers”? Hilarious shit right there full of food-hoarding, goat-slaughtering, school-bus bunker nuts. Most of them love guns but some don’t.

        Check this bitch out: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82344958/

        And a follow-up: http://freethoughtblogs.com/rockbeyondbelief/2012/02/08/how-nat-geo-misrepresented-the-foxhole-atheist-doomsday-prepper-megan-hurwitt/

        500 km aye? That’s pretty impressive. What weapon is that?

  2. December 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

    I, for one, am glad you choose not to carry a weapon, Kaje. My wife is always wanting to pack a gun. I say ‘not while I’m alive’. I’m a bit old fashioned when it comes to women. They should keep their mouths shut in church and should leave the gun toting to us men. Oh, and by “men” I mean heterosexual men.

    Just be thankful I didn’t try to throw in a rape joke. It was tempting.

    • December 17, 2012 at 1:09 pm

      It’s been pointed out that any thread about guns will bring out gun lovers and their weird psychosexual issues.

      Thank you for being such a stellar example. Your comment stays.

      • December 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

        Well I didn’t expect any censorship from you anyway. I realized after I posted that I forgot to throw in some racism. I’ll owe you one. 😉

  3. December 19, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    ” because going after someone weaker than you is easy and fun for a lot of people.” James White just made this argument in the most downloaded commentary at sermon audio on this issue. http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=1216121226180

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