Joplin Globe Madness: WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?

Well, actually, I told you nothing, because when Marta Mossburg wrote that stupid ass column last week, I wrote a rough draft for a post, and then abandoned it because I couldn’t condense my rage into a cohesive post. Basic gist: History Channel is emboldening stupid people. Again. This time with The Bible, their new stupid miniseries.

I seriously just published that a few minutes ago, for context to this post. Read it here. It’s a rough draft. Be gentle.

Anyway, look here! My prophecy came true! Turns out humoring stupid beliefs just emboldens the belief holders! Like Bryan Sperry here. The Bible is the springboard for some good ol’ JGM godgunnery.

I was watching the TV version of “The Bible.” I noticed all of the beatings and killings did not involve a single gun.

Also scientists that lived before 1860 did not believe in evolution, and Alexander the Great conquered the western world without launching a single plane. Continuity is weird like that.

Taking away our guns is not the solution. It is the first thing that a would-be dictator would do. If people would accept Christ as their savior, it would be a much better world.

Remember kids…all powerful, megalomaniacal sociopathic control freaks are bad. Unless he lives in the clouds. Then he’s cool.

Of course, there are those groups that will not allow their members to even read about Christ. This is the height of ignorance. They are apparently afraid of the truth. I was in church today with about 2,000 people. What a pleasant experience to be with that many people who know how to love.

Five bucks says most of those people sitting next to him haven’t actually read the damn thing. Research backs me up.

I helped fight the Germans in the Battle of the Bulge, and the Lord was with me every step of the way. The Belgians are very appreciative now. I recently wrote a book to help young people to know how to live their life to the fullest as a born-again Christian.

He must not have published it yet, because I can’t turn anything up on Google . I did find this artist from Chicago with the same name. Pittsburg Bryan Sperry should have Chicago Bryan Sperry do the cover art. That might trick the kids into reading it.

I wonder, if the History Channel stuck with their usual fare, what would have inspired Bryan to write this?

I’ve noticed that people have killed each other for centuries without guns…but how could they, with such primitive technology?



10 Responses to “Joplin Globe Madness: WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?”

  1. 1 suzanne carnahan
    April 12, 2013 at 5:31 am

    yes i read that in the globe… i was pissed then… and of course i am all over again now. but in this area he has lots of people who are agreeing with him. their *god * made lots of stupid people or is it just because they dont read anything but the bible and never think for themselves?

  2. April 12, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    Johnny, your link about bible reading was interesting, especially this:

    “The Rev. James Martin, a Jesuit priest and author of “The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything,” said the Bible can come across as intimidating to the uninitiated. “There’s a tendency to think that if you read the Bible, you have to read it from start to finish. But when people do read the Bible, they don’t know where to begin,” Martin said.”

    Of course it’s intimidating and confusing, it’s a motley assemblage of often contradictory writings in ancient, arcane phrasings by mostly unknown writers. Trying to read it like a normal book just gives the reader cognitive dissonance. Even Jesuit Martin ought to know that people don’t read the bible to become more religious, they first get religious and then dip into the bible to justify their decision.

  3. April 13, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Jim, I can’t believe that you just typed that out. Every single book of the Bible connects to every other book. They are all about the same thing. How do you read it and miss that?

    • April 13, 2013 at 6:17 pm

      That’s not the Bible. You’re thinking of Kevin Bacon.

    • April 13, 2013 at 7:39 pm

      @ Cal,

      From the Wikipedia page on Internal Consistency of the Bible:

      Christian theologians agree that the New Testament has a single and consistent theological focus on the salvific nature of Christ, but the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament contains not one but several different theologies. Some of these complement each other, but others are contradictory, even within the same book.[21] Despite the lack of a single unifying theology, common themes recur, including (although no list can be exhaustive) monotheism, the divine origins of human morality, God’s election of a chosen people, the idea of the coming Messiah, and the concepts of sin, faithfulness, and redemption. The study of these is central to both Jewish and Christian theologies, even if they differ in their approaches (see Christianity and Judaism). For example, although both religions believe in the coming Messiah, the Jewish expectation is different from the Christian view. Within Christianity, themes such as the nature of God (trinitarianism and nontrinitarianism),[22] nature of Jesus, Mosaic laws, original sin, predestination, ordination of women, hell, biblical prophecies, etc. have continued to be a matter of dispute among theologians and various denominations.

      And this,

      Internal consistency within the synoptic gospels has been analysed by many scholars. A well-known example is the nativity narratives found in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 1:1-6 ) and the Gospel of Luke (Luke 3:32-34 ). Each gives a genealogy of Jesus, but the names, and even the number of generations, differ between the two. Apologists have suggested that the differences are the result of two different lineages, Matthew’s from King David’s son, Solomon, to Jacob, father of Joseph, and Luke’s from King David’s other son, Nathan, to Heli, father of Mary and father-in-law of Joseph.[40][41] However, the scholar Geza Vermes points out that Luke makes no mention of Mary, and questions what purpose a maternal genealogy would serve in a Jewish setting.[42]

      That’s just a sampling of course. There is much more in the Wiki article. I will agree that the NT is generally consistent as to Jesus’ philosophy, which is pretty much summed up by the Golden Rule, but if you take the time to read all of the Wikipedia reference you will see much to be contentious about. If you really want stuff that will curl your toes, read Leviticus. And then, there’s common sense, if you will use it. Why oh why would God sacrifice himself by torture in a barely civilized era and then squander the effect by documenting the deed only through anonymous writers in such a motley, patchwork fashion? The bible is a mess.

      • April 13, 2013 at 7:53 pm

        Leviticus is one of my favorite books. Judges also. Carl Trueman preached all the way through the book of Judges and it was a beautiful series of sermons on Gods convenant love for his people.

        “motley, patchwork fashion” Are you kidding me? You can mix up the books, Old and New Testament, put them in any order, they are all about the same thing.

        The creation, the fall, the covenant with Abraham, the messiah, the perfect lamb for the only sacrifice that would ever be required from that point on, the redemption of God’s covenant people.

  4. April 13, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    I would skip wiki. (let’s just call it wacky for now)

    Craig Evans, Richard Bauckham, Michael Horton, The Whitehorse Inn, Westminster Seminary California, Westminster Seminary Philadelphia, Puritan Reformed Seminary, Scott Clark, Carl Trueman, Monergism, Joel Beeke, Anthony Carter, Voddie Baucham, Kim Riddlebarger etc., I could type in about 1,000 other good resources on Christian studies.

    Jesus didn’t have a philosophy. He was God in human flesh. Not a philosopher.

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