Posts Tagged ‘comics


Some More Pics–Now With Words and Stuff!

This comic lay unfinished in my basement for two years. I thought it was somewhat topical, so I dug it out and did a rush ink job. It’s super sloppy and still has pencil marks and doesn’t have much of a punchline and may be interpreted as a threat, but eh.

THIS COMIC HAS NAUGHTY WORDS. ENJOY! (it’s below the jump)

Continue reading ‘Some More Pics–Now With Words and Stuff!’


Will You Shut Up About Cathy Already?!?

You’ve heard that Cathy is finally being put out her misery. You’ve already commented on whatever blog you first read the news on about how much Cathy sucked. By this point you’ve probably encountered some weirdo going on about how Cathy is a feminist triumph or something. You probably thought they were talking out of their hinder, and as a card carrying feminazi I can assure you that no, you aren’t at fault for thinking so.

The only way Cathy could be described as feminist is if you define feminist as “a woman who works.” You’ve come a long way, baby, good for you. Otherwise you are an insufferable, neurotic, materialistic mopstring of a person. All this would be forgivable if you were funny or well drawn. Which you aren’t.

“But-but-but WAIT,” you say, “Cathy was groundbreaking! It was the first newspaper comic written by a woman and it was all about a modern woman doing modern woman things!”

Now you’re the one talking out of your hinder! Congrats! You’re so wrong you don’t even know! Cathy wasn’t the first strip by a woman. It’s not even close. Women have been cartooning, and getting published in the funnies, since the medium first began.

Full disclaimer: this post is really just a plug for a book I like. Go buy the Great Women Cartoonists by Trina Robbins. Or borrow it from your super cool feminist comic geek friend. I’m on loan if you don’t have one.

Some pre-Cathy women cartoonists covered in this book:

Rose O’ Neill– A lot of people have heard the word “kewpies” but don’t know exactly what they are, other than how cute they’re supposed to be. They’re basically pre-Precious Moments era Precious Moments-esque dolls. That were first created in comic form by Ladies Home Journal cartoonist, Rose O’ Neill, in the first decade of the 20th century.

Also, she lived in the Ozarks! Local interest bonus!

Nell Brinkley- In the 1920’s this chick was the Queen of Comics. She drew women that were dubbed the Brinkley Girls, and started a fashion craze. Check out those crazy curls!

Ethel Hays- She did another flapper comic, Flapper Fanny. A comic about a woman? By a woman? CRAZY!

Martha Orr- You ever read that unintentionally hilarious soap opera comic, Mary Worth? When it first came to life in the Great Depression it was called Apple Mary, and it was created by this woman. It also wasn’t that bad, certainly not the train wreck it is today.

Edwina Dumm- This unfortunately named woman was one of America’s first political cartoonists. She also did normal comics too, several of which were about the same longhaired terrier with different names.

Dale Messick- Created Brenda Starr, which chronicles the adventures of a woman reporter and still runs circles around Cathy today. Her real name was Dalia, but she adopted the pseudonym Dale to get past sexist editors, and became the first female syndicated comic strip artist.

Tarpe Mills- All I know is, her Miss Fury was the first female created superhero, and the sample of her work in the book is the coolest thing ever. Look at this stuff.

…yeah that’s a horrible scan, but still! Look at those eyebrows in the fourth panel! LOOK!

Jackie Ormes– She was the first female African American cartoonist to appear in the funnies. She created Torchy Brown, which was also the first comic to star a black woman. Hey, if you borrow Robbins’ book from me, you can pay me back by buying this book, and letting me borrow it.

With all this raw talent, you should now have a knee-jerk reaction whenever someone calls Cathy Guiswite the first female cartoonist. I summon you to go back to that blog post you came from, and set the record straight.


I Guess I Got Off Easy

You all recall Everybody Draw Mohammad Day, correct? Recall how I was asked by the Globe to take down my silly Rubber Hose Mohammad cartoon? Recall how Kajed Heat was removed from the Globe’s blogroll page, and has yet to be restored?

All in all, I got off easy. At least no one put me on a hit list. The same can’t be said for Molly Norris, who started the meme:

Yemeni-American cleric Anwar al-Awlaki – the radical who has also been cited as inspiring the Fort Hood, Tex., massacre and the plot by two New Jersey men to kill U.S. soldiers – singled out artist Molly Norris as a “prime target,” saying her “proper abode is hellfire.”

The New York Daily News article also mentions Inspire, the badly translated “Al Qaeda’s Tiger Beat.” Seriously, that sounds freaking hilarious. It conjures a mental picture of teenage girls ogling swarthy doe-eyed hotties with full beards and government approved haircuts. I want a copy of this magazine so bad, just for the lulz.


Kaje’s Komic Kreviews!: Jurassic Park: Redemption #1

There is a meme that goes on in comics classes that you don’t have to be a good drawer to be a comic artist. This is false and misleading. It’s true that you don’t have to have Katsuhiro Otomo level skillz, but if your artwork is both poorly rendered and boring, it’s probably best that you stick with poetry jams. Or in this case,

Yesterday I saw the first issue of Jurassic Park: Redemption and, being the classy connoisseur of the franchise, squealed like a ecstatic guinea pig while fishing for change to buy it.

Here is the cover art by Frank Miller. Cool, eh?

Alas, Frank Miller just did the cover, while the actual comic is penciled by Nate Van Dyke. They ought to make up some sort of platitude about how book covers can potentially mislead you as to the quality of the book.  This is what you find inside JP:R.

I’m not complaining about scientific accuracy, this is Jurassic Park after all. I’m complaining about oh my god that’s the most awful splash page I’ve ever seen in my life. Was Nate Van Dyke shanghaied into doing this project and did the worst job he could do on purpose? Did he ask a friend if he could borrow a Jurassic Park DVD and somehow ended up with a 50’s man-in-a-rubber-suit dinosaur flick? You’d think if you were doing a Jurassic Park comic, the first thing you’d ask a potential artist is “can you draw dinosaurs competently?” That’s kind of the whole reason for JP’s existence. I’ve seen harlequin babies that were easier on the eye.

It doesn’t get much better, and it’s not just the dinosaurs that suffer. Everything is just so freaking ugly. The human characters have no life to them whatsoever. Sometimes the art doesn’t fit the text or isn’t continuous with the panels proceeding it. For example, one panel shows a truck driver leaving to take a whizz in the bushes; the next panel he’s being hurled from the top of his trailer.

Mr. Van Dyke is of the school of scratchy dry brush artwork style that is typical of the grungy horror comic, the kind that usually feature zombies and middle-of-nowhere truckstops and people wearing flannel. I’m not a big fan of that style even in those kind of comics. The Jurassic Park series isn’t grungy. It’s sleek and adventurous. It’s both the Lost World and the World of Tomorrow. Jurassic Park is a John Williams score, this comic is a crappy hellbilly band. I don’t care if this comic takes place in rural Texas, it just doesn’t fit.

The artwork’s pretty much ruined this for me, but let’s hash the plot anyway. It’s 13 years after the events of the first movie. Lexx Murphy is the CEO of Lexxcrops (hee!) and is anti-Jurassic Park. Tim Murphy is in charge of grandpa’s company and also seems to want to get JP running again. Meanwhile, there’s a secret corral of dinosaurs being kept in Glen Rose Texas.Which is being run by a guy who was eaten by a T-Rex in the second movie. Even though this takes place after the third. I guess he was bitten by a mosquito which was fossilized in amber and they cloned him back. Or maybe Lexx and Tim were DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!!!

Speaking of Glen Rose and speaking of redemption, this comic would’ve totally redeemed itself if it took a dig at Glen Rose’s creationist infestation. Alas! Maybe they’re saving it for a later issue.

The first issue ends with a stupid-looking shape-shifting Carnotaurus breaking loose and eating various large mammals. I wish you well on your mammal eating adventures, Fake-notaurus. I’m afraid I can’t bring myself to accompany you.


We Don’t Need Feminism Because We’re Equal Now, part 1 of Infinity

Daria is not amused.

When a movie with a male lead bombs, the reasons are understood to be many and diverse.

When a movie with a female lead bombs (or doesn’t make 1 gazillion dollars right out the gate), there is only one reason why.

Are there plans to do any more sequels for the recently released DC animated films?
We had originally planned to do sequels for Wonder Woman and Green Lantern, but Wonder Woman’s sales started out extremely slow and then over time were eventually able to catch up to probably Justice League Frontier. The Exec’s [sic] decided because it wasn’t able to sell quickly right away, where as Justice League was, that there wouldn’t be any more female super hero films right now. We were developing and hoping to get started on a Batgirl film based on Year One, but because of Wonder Woman’s slow sales start, that won’t be happening now.

It’s not because the screenplay was mangled by the executives, or bad advertising, or the half-assed “battle of the sexes” crap shoehorned in, or inept disregard for the source material. It couldn’t have been anything else other than the unacceptably high vagoo levels.

Strangely, Green Lantern’s disappointing sales haven’t blacklisted all male superhero movies. Although, I shudder to think what they would have done if the Green Lantern they used was the John Stewart version.

This isn’t new; in fact the head exec of Warner Bros. made it a policy for their live action films way back in 2007.

Warner Bros president of production Jeff Robinov has made a new rule that “We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead”, according to DeadlineHollywood. Apparently, Robinov won’t even look at a script with a female lead.

Hurray for our post-sexist society.

I sit here typing this while watching episodes of Daria. For those unfamilar with the show, Daria was a hilarious MTV cartoon starring an unconventional teenage girl struggling against the jaw-dropping stupidity of those around her.

For years it was the top 3 requested shows on Let me repeat that. Top 3. As in this was a DVD that consumers were begging for. It was at the top of that list for years.

So they solved the issue with music copyrights, and they finally released the freaking thing a few days ago. As I type, Amazon says it is the second highest selling TV series on DVD (next to True Blood, which if I’m not mistaken also stars a chick). I imagine it will only climb as people realize “HOLY MONKEYS THEY FINALLY RELEASED A DARIA DVD!!11!!”

Daria’s vagoo doesn’t seem to be slowing her down any. Maybe, just maybe, that isn’t what the audience at large cares about? Maybe they care about competent filmmaking and engaging stories?

Huh, yeah right. Make way for the latest DC superhero movie, Wonder Man. Keanu Reeves stars as an Air Force pilot that crash lands on an island of peaceful blue-skinned Amazonians. He becomes super competent in their way of life in the course of a week, and leads them to battle against Spartans. Because they can’t do it themselves.  Also the Amazonian princess Diana falls in love with him. She’s a strong female character- but not too strong! Coming soon to a theater near you.

Is the eco-Obama-terrorist that sabotaged the Gulf’s oil rig reading this? Can you do it again, only this time somehow pull it off so that it only soaks Warner Bros. execs in sweet, sweet fossilized pollutants? That would be great.

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