Posts Tagged ‘holidays


Kaje Komics: Don’t Tell Him About Jesusween

Happy Halloween, everybody.

Happy Halloween, everybody

I’ve been reading too many Hark, A Vagrant comics. I had to force myself to use punctuation.


Are You Ready To Be Touched By JesusWeen?

I think a rock might actually be preferable.

I’m always amused by the efforts of insecure Christians to try and replace the second most popular American holiday with one where it’s acceptable to give children Chick Tracts instead of Reese’s Cups. “Trunk or treats!” “Harvest parties!” “Creation Parties!” The efforts are all as scattershot as they are laughably boring.

I think they’ve finally hit gold, though. Ladies and gentlemen, I present JesusWeen.

JesusWeen is a non profit organization also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live better lives through the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. JesusWeen is a God-given vision which was born as an answer to the cry of many every October 31st. The dictionary meaning of Ween is to expect, believe or think.

It’s also the name of a band that people keep trying to make me listen to. The more you bug me about it, the less likely I am to listen. Maybe Ween needs a holiday to spread the word about themselves. Call it WeenWeen.

Every year, the world and its system have a day set aside (October 31st) to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters while Christians all over the world participate, hide or just stay quiet on Halloween day. Being a day that is widely acceptable to solicit and knock on doors, God inspired us to encourage Christians to use this day as an opportunity to spread the gospel. The days of hiding are over and we choose to take a stand for Jesus. “Evil prevails when good people do nothing”. JesusWeen is expected to become the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that is why we also call it” World Evangelism Day”.

Oh wow! They really are just putting Bibles in kid’s candy sacks. Way to ween one for Jesus. In the meantime, I will be enjoying my ungodly images and evil characters. At least they don’t skimp on the Reese’s Cups.


Santa: The Trojan Horse in the War on Christmas

You know who else was red? STALIN.

Why am I blogging about Christmas in spring? One reason, because other news around here is too damn depressing (Man, Nevada, you suck). Two, I never get tired of blogging about conservative freakouts.

Christian conservatives warn America of a War on Christmas, under the impression that deemphasizing Santa and his reindeer is secular subterfuge. However, a new poll (c/o the Wisconsin Daily Mirror) suggests that giving Santa the boot may be a boon to curbing the rising atheist population.

The group asked atheists, agnostics, secular humanists and other non-believers to name a catalyst to their deconversion. The number one answer by about 48%? Finding out the truth about Santa Claus. OH SNAP:

When asked about their lack of belief, many atheists and agnostics point to a perceived lack of evidence, corruption in organized religion, or the seeming indifference of the universe. However, when asked to name a specific life event that led them down this path, nearly half pointed not to the man on the cross, but to the man on the rooftop.

According to a survey conducted by PEW Research, when asked what one event they could contribute to their atheism, a whopping 48% cited finding out the truth about Santa Claus as the catalyst.

It must be because atheists are so materialistic, right? Well, not really. Take it away Dr. Pazzo:

“It’s a true case of a slippery slope,” says PEW researcher Dr. April Pazzo. “Their parents raise them to have faith in a magical, kindly figure, a faith which is inevitably betrayed. When these same parents ask them to believe in a loving, miraculous figure, it’s more difficult to believe.”

It looks like the religious are already scrambling for excuses and solutions. The guy they quote in the article says that obviously, Santa has to go. Good luck with that (edit mine).

According to [Father Pabo Sah Woor], “People need to remember who we celebrate Christmas for. It’s not about gifts, reindeer and family. When you take Christ out of Christmas, you start taking Christ out of your life.”

One of those things is not like the other, Pops. Have fun telling people to quit using one of the best traditional aspects of the holiday.


First They Came for Westboro Baptist…

People people people. I know that most of you, liberal or conservative, straight and queer, all nations and colors and creeds, the whole lot of you hate Westboro Baptist. As do I.

Also, the whole lot of you think that the Supreme Court made a terrible decision ruling in their favor. You are wrong.

“Oh geez, not another literal First Amendment humper,” you think. “What about shouting fire in theaters, the right to assemble peacefully bwap bwap bwap bwap bwap…”

You misunderstand! Those are important, sure, but there is something you forget.

If the Supreme Court had ruled against funeral protests, we wouldn’t be able to protest Fred’s funeral in time for National Asshat Day.

Asshat Day, page 1

Asshat Day Page 2

Asshat Day page 3

Are you so hasty to spite WBC that you’re willing to forgo the ultimate prize? BIG PICTURE, PEOPLE!


Kaje’s Kwik Krappy Khristmas Komic

Merry Giftmas, everyone! Your gift is below the jump.

(comic NSFW for festively harsh language and surly demeanor)

Continue reading ‘Kaje’s Kwik Krappy Khristmas Komic’


Joplin Globe Madness: Happy Nineteenthmas

First off, here’s some conditional holiday cheer from the ever-loving Rita Crowell. No abortfemilibs need apply!

I heard you wanted clueless white privilege for Nineteenthmas! I hope Dave Spiering by way of Don Landrith will work.

Some background: Joplin DA Tom Mann was asked to resign after several incidences of making tasteless remarks, which we know nothing about except that the last one was supposedly racial in nature. Landrith doesn’t think that a guy who hates people for arbitrary reasons should be barred from a job where you have the fate of people’s lives in your hands.

Most of the letter is copypasta from Spiering; it’s basically “why can’t we say the N-word” writ large. Apparently holding people accountable for racist remarks is prejudiced against white people. Oh, you poor, poor white guys! So persecuted! Somebody pray to Saint Imus.

The few original bits include this:

The era of political correctness is rampant and because of an importunate individual who insisted to get his case heard before other people ahead of him, Tom, by his own admission, made a vitriolic remark that was uncalled for. His apology to the court personnel that were present should have been sufficient, and his dismissal seems uncalled for.

There are dark-skinned Americans, red-skinned Americans, yellow-skinned Americans and white Americans.

The common thread is we are all Americans.

Indeed! We are all Americans! And if you fail to uphold that ideal by treating some Americans like crap based on skin color, like Mr. Mann did, you’re probably not going to make a good public defender! Or a good anything.

Ditto those who defend such. I’m glad Mr. Landrith is a former city councilman.



Joplin Globe Madness: Belated War On Halloween (I Think) Edition

Last year I had a bit of fun ragging on Christian Not-Halloween Parties. This year, Elisabeth Earhart agrees.

I think.

I dunno, she kind of hits every base. She rags on Fake-oweens, childhood obesity, the helicopter parent craze, and the nanny state . And she is disgusted. DISGUSTED! With what specifically, who can say.

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