18
Oct
13

Update on PP Arsonist

An arrest has been made.

Jedediah Stout, 30, of Joplin, was charged today in U.S. District Court in Springfield with attempting to damage or destroy the center by fire or explosive materials twice on Oct. 3 and Oct. 4. The U.S. Department of Justice said in a news release that both times Stout threw bags containing an accelrant onto the roof of the center and then ignited material attached to those bags.

With a name like Jedidiah Stout, you kinda have to be a right-wing nutter.

Also! Unless there’s more than one Jedidiah Stout, here’s his Facebook.

07
Oct
13

Just an FYI

image

EDIT: I was mistaken, it should read “two in over three nights,” not “attacked three nights in a row. This mistake was made because I cannot read. Two times is still a bad deal, though.

Just an FYI

The Planned Parenthood in Joplin has been attacked by an arsonist twice over the past three nights.

TWICE IN THE PAST THREE NIGHTS. Because JPD is too busy doling out speeding tickets I guess.

May I remind you that this is the same town where a mosque was burned down (after a failed attempt) back in August 2012.

Please reblog this! I dunno if anyone can make any use of the above photo or even lives in Joplin, but any information on this person should be called in to the JPD. Let’s catch this fuckhead!

27
Jul
13

The “R” Word

Today the Globe reports the story of Charles Gastel, a Joplin teacher charged with raping a young girl from Lamar.

Oh wait, I’m sorry–I mean, “engaged in sexual intercourse with.” I did a word search before the paywall locked me out, and there’s no appearance of the “R” word anywhere. Never mind that that’s what it’s called.
Newspaper articles about sexual assault are notorious for being poorly written in an unconscious (or deliberate) attempt to downplay the crime. The most common journalistic faux pas is the passive voice (which isn’t such a big problem in this article), but there’s also the avoidance of the word “rape”. This article gets really long-winded and awkward to avoid it. We have “engaged her in sexual intercourse”, which is not only TL;DR but inaccurate. An old man does not “engage in sexual intercourse” with a young girl. The word is rape. He rapes her.

And then there’s this bit:

…[the girl] and Gastel began engaging in sexual acts when she was 10, according to the affidavit.

Not only do we skirt around that icky “R” word, we also get to implicate the victim in her own assault! This 30+ year old man didn’t rape a 10 year-old; they “engaged in sexual acts” together, as equals! Go team!

Mr. Kennedy, I ask that you put more thought into these kinds of articles in the future. Research shows that the weak phrasing rampant in these articles do actual harm in the real world.

05
May
13

Creation Science Counter-Quiz

You’ve probably seen this picture already: a real quiz from a private school in South Carolina.

A creationist kid's quiz.

I really want to know why 8, 9 and 10 were omitted.

Says the father of the girl who took the test in question:

I didn’t know that this was being taught to her until we heard a radio commercial together about the Discover the Dinosaurs exhibit was coming to the TD Convention Center [in Greenville, South Carolina].

The Commercial starts out, “After 65 million years, the dinosaurs have returned …” She commented immediately that it was only four thousand years ago. When I corrected her, she snapped back, “Were you there?” I have since taught my daughter differently, but I am sure she is confused now and plan to make sure she understands that teachers are people too and
can be factually wrong.

The test showed up [at] home a day later to my disgust.

It’s a great school for Reading, Writing and Math. She is ahead of most of her peers and also is taking Latin there. But I now know to be vigilant for the rest of the year about her science teachings.

She will not be attending the school next year …

You have to wonder just exactly what he expected. It’s a private religious school in South Carolina. They’re not going to compete in the state science fair, that’s for certain.

Still, it’s a shame that his kid, among many others, is being so woefully misinformed by Blue Ridge Christian Academy. Now that this has come to light, perhaps other parents wish to un-brainwash their kids. Perhaps with a Creationism Studies class? Allow me to help that along, with my beta 4th grade Creation Science Studies Quiz!

creation science quiz redux-1 creation science quiz redux-2

Many thanks as always to talk.origins.org, where I spent many a day in my high school years when I should have been going to proms and sports and shit.

You can download a blank PDF here. Happy standardized testing, everybody!

05
May
13

Check Out My Repainted Allosaurus

With Jurassic Park  now released in 3D, some new toys were released as well. Such as this Allosaurus figure, which has a really ugly ass color scheme.

Also, the tail is too short.

Also, the tail is too short.

I decided to make it a pretty, or at least less stupid looking.

I started off with a spraypainted coat of grey primer, and then a cream colored coat of acrylic.

photo(1)

By this time I decided to base the color scheme of a male green iguana in breeding colors. I started building up the green and orange shades with matte medium.

photo(2)photo(3)

And then, Payne’s Gray tail stripes and a blueish tint for the head:

photo(4)IMG_4219

Don’t forget speckles! We need speckles.

IMG_4222

I decided to deviate from the green iguana template, and give the gums and tongue a hyper-blue color.

IMG_4233

Quite a bit of detail work and dark washes later, and here it is:

IMG_4279

IMG_4274

IMG_4276

The tail is still too goddamn short.

12
Apr
13

Joplin Globe Madness: WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?

Well, actually, I told you nothing, because when Marta Mossburg wrote that stupid ass column last week, I wrote a rough draft for a post, and then abandoned it because I couldn’t condense my rage into a cohesive post. Basic gist: History Channel is emboldening stupid people. Again. This time with The Bible, their new stupid miniseries.

I seriously just published that a few minutes ago, for context to this post. Read it here. It’s a rough draft. Be gentle.

Anyway, look here! My prophecy came true! Turns out humoring stupid beliefs just emboldens the belief holders! Like Bryan Sperry here. The Bible is the springboard for some good ol’ JGM godgunnery.

I was watching the TV version of “The Bible.” I noticed all of the beatings and killings did not involve a single gun.

Also scientists that lived before 1860 did not believe in evolution, and Alexander the Great conquered the western world without launching a single plane. Continuity is weird like that.

Taking away our guns is not the solution. It is the first thing that a would-be dictator would do. If people would accept Christ as their savior, it would be a much better world.

Remember kids…all powerful, megalomaniacal sociopathic control freaks are bad. Unless he lives in the clouds. Then he’s cool.

Of course, there are those groups that will not allow their members to even read about Christ. This is the height of ignorance. They are apparently afraid of the truth. I was in church today with about 2,000 people. What a pleasant experience to be with that many people who know how to love.

Five bucks says most of those people sitting next to him haven’t actually read the damn thing. Research backs me up.

I helped fight the Germans in the Battle of the Bulge, and the Lord was with me every step of the way. The Belgians are very appreciative now. I recently wrote a book to help young people to know how to live their life to the fullest as a born-again Christian.

He must not have published it yet, because I can’t turn anything up on Google . I did find this artist from Chicago with the same name. Pittsburg Bryan Sperry should have Chicago Bryan Sperry do the cover art. That might trick the kids into reading it.

I wonder, if the History Channel stuck with their usual fare, what would have inspired Bryan to write this?

I’ve noticed that people have killed each other for centuries without guns…but how could they, with such primitive technology?

ALIENS

12
Apr
13

It Must Be True, I Saw it on History Channel

I listen to K-LOVE every weekday now, although not by choice. For those of you unfamiliar, K-LOVE plays “positive, encouraging” Christian music and is repetitive aural garbage, but I repeat myself.*

One day they were talking about The Bible. It’s a Christian music station, of course, but they weren’t talking about the the Bible-Bible, they were talking about The Bible series on the History Channel. Dusty can sum it up much better than I can,

The lady K-Love host was gushing. Paraphrasing here (I can’t be arsed to find a transcript for a date I can’t recall on a station I hate) she said “This all is real, it’s not a fairy tale!”. So good job, cable TV. You pander to the stupid people for a quick buck and in doing so you humor their stupid beliefs.

“Seriously, Kaje, History Channel runs Bigfoot specials and Ancient Aliens. Everyone knows that they just play bullshit nowadays. What’s the worry?”

Well, apparently the K-Love hosts don’t know that. Neither does a whole lot of the general public. Neither does Marta Mossburg, the Joplin Globe’s favorite gibbering nitwit Marylander. Keep on telling the masses what they want to hear. A talking snake is not jaw-droppingly idiotic. Hollywood persecutes Christians. Our depiction of the most popular religion in the world is somehow edgy.

Marta’s column is mostly about the latter hopeless falsehood, which is easily debunked. Hollywood (as if the entertainment industry is a monolith, which it isn’t) doesn’t shy away from godbaggery and conservative bullshit. Especially not The History Channel. Here’s something interesting I found on STFUConservatives: An anonymous poster who claims to work in TV programming said this:

We get told things like ‘our demographic doesn’t want to see women as scientist experts’ and so forth. Those people are told that by people above them who are told that by ratings and research and statistics. So, you see, it’s a sick incestuous cycle. More conservatives watch, and so they cater more shows to that audience.

Get that? History Channel isn’t being super brave and risk-taking. It’s par for the course for them. Psuedohistorical bullshit and pandering is their bread and butter.

*People who are afraid of sexual feelings just need to stay away from all forms of art.

16
Mar
13

But We Do Need Grenade Launching Pistols. Because Freedom.

I was surprised to reach the end of this letter and not see Rita Crowell’s name. Carl W. Biggers loves the Second Amendment, and is not above tossing some pro-life fanservice into the first sentence.

Our government doesn’t want us shooting people but doesn’t seem to care how many babies are murdered in the womb.

I don’t think he realizes that it sounds like he’s genuinely disappointed that he can’t go around shooting people.

In the Jan. 25, 2013, Joplin Globe, it was reported that her ban would include rifles, handguns with one of any military style features — detachable stock, grenade launchers — as well as 157 specific firearms.

OH THAT LYING SKANK. She sounded all reasonable at first, but then she wants to take away our pistols. Our grenade-launching pistols. What a fascist.

I agree we don’t need slide fire stocks on rifles that can shoot 100 rounds in 7 seconds. We don’t need large capacity magazines. We don’t need threaded barrels for silencers, and we don’t need silencers. We do need to keep our Second Amendment rights to carry our handguns for home, family and self-protection. We should be able to keep our chance to help stop crimes in progress.

Slightly related– did you hear about the guy who stabbed the burglar in the eyeball with a knife? IF THEY HAD A GUN THIS WOULDN’T HAVE—oh wait….

I think the government wants all guns out of law-abiding citizens hands so when they become dictators, they won’t have to face an uprising.

You know what I’ve noticed? I hear a lot of people saying we need guns to shed the blood of tyrants. Like a whole lot of people saying so. We apparently have a goodly amount of Jack the Tyrant Killers in this country.

Apparently our tyrants are usually schoolchildren, peace protestors, black kids, women going to the gym, and people who attend midnight screenings of popular movies. Normal citizens and easy pickings. Meanwhile, actual government heads openly muse about taking away people’s rights, and they sleep like babies. Perhaps most gun fetishists don’t really give a shit about shedding the blood of tyrants. They want to be tyrants.

Take us out with some Jesus, Carl!

I am a born-again Christian and pray that God will convince the hearts of our government to pay attention to him before it is too late.

Jesus isn’t the guy that gives you grenade launching pistols. You’re thinking of Santa.

17
Feb
13

Hey Look! Plagiarism!

On Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs, this cover for Avengers #12 was posted. I thought it looked familiar…

image

The comments confirmed my suspicion: the Therizinosaurus design and the Protoceratops in the background are clones of Henriette and Bix from James Gurney’s Dinotopia books. Which are like my favorite books from my childhood.

This is some bullshit. How come there’s so many talented artists creating original designs, yet professionals working in the industry like Dustin Weaver feel they can get away with this?

EDIT: Apparently Dustin Weaver has a blog, and basically admits to it. He calls it “homage”. I can appreciate wanting to do that, but I don’t think he pulled it off here.

16
Dec
12

I Have the Right to Not Bear Arms

(Hey! Are you reading this post months after it was published? Well, good news– I crafted it so it can apply to any spree shooting. Just copy and paste this the next time a spree shooting comes along. And there will be a next time. )

With the latest spree shooting, here comes the latest spree victim-blaming from right-wing gun frootloops* and their unwitting enablers.
“Hurp derp, if only those teachers were armed, if only we could conceal and carry in theaters, if only I could whip out my sweet Gun Katta skills and whaled on them, then those people wouldn’t be dead huh huh hurp”.

Never mind whether or not this is true (Mother Jones says it isn’t, but how can you say a spree shooting wasn’t stopped if it was stopped before it became a spree shooting? BRAINPUZZLER). The implication is that we are responsible for our own deaths if we go out of our house without our trenchcoats and semi-autos which we all obviously have had the time and interest and resources to learn to master.

It’s the “if only she was wearing modest clothes, she wouldn’t have been raped” argument. It’s blaming the victim. It’s saying we should go out of our way to appease the unremarkable monsters in our species. Fuck that.

You see, guns don’t frighten me or offend me. They bore the living piss out of me, even moreso than motorcycles and scrapbooking (although less than Christian radio). I resent the notion that I have to augment my life with gun ownership to justify my very existence. And that’s just my indifference talking; imagine people who actually detest them for whatever reason?

I do not carry guns. I won’t carry guns. And I am free to do so. And fuck you for suggesting it’s my fault if someone murders me. I am not going to take time out of my fleeting life to conform to your dumb little club just because you can’t face the harsh reality that if you were in those situations, you won’t be the stoic action hero of your fantasies. You will be panicking and reacting just like those lowly unarmed folk.

It reminds me of the “Freedom of Religion, Not Freedom From Religion” non-argument. I know this will hurt a lot of people’s brains, but the first necessarily implies the other. You have the right to bear arms, likewise, I have the right to not bear arms.

Depicted: Not You

*I have seen gun nuts take pride in the fact that “nuts” is a slang term for testicles, which their anxious masculinity clings to like Peter Jackson clings to slow motion. I WILL DENY THEM EVEN THIS SMALL COMFORT. YOU ARE ALL FROOTLOOPS NOW.



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